The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
06/18/12
Misunderstandings are so easy - especially in relationships like this. Great reminder.
This is a great idea. I've read several stories this week and this is a fresh take on the topic. I love that you went in a direction that is different. You're making good progress on showing rather than telling. Little things like he bit his lip gives the reader insight into his emotional state. You show me he is nervous by just those few words. Again when he stared at the wall showed me he was taking precautions not to be hurt again. A sign of a phenomenal writer is when every single word is relevant to the story, that each little phrase gives the reader insight into the personality of the MC. This is especially hard to do with such a limited amount of words. Getting to that point is a life-long journey and you're making good progress to it. Your perseverance is an inspiration to me.
06/20/12
Thank you for the message and the emotional journey in this well-written piece. Good job. Thank you.

God bless~