The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 286 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
This is a nice devotion. I liked how you gave some personal examples and how you overcame the desires. It is important to monitor our children's activities and even more important to make sure when they are watching us that we do the right thing too.

The only bit of red ink is you don't need to tell the reader what you are going to do next. Instead just give the example. If you want to help the transition you can say For example, but I don't know that you even need to do that.

I really liked your prayer. I so enjoy it when people include prayers in their pieces because there are people who don't know how to pray. You did a great job of tackling the topic in a thought-provoking way. Good job!
I really enjoyed reading this piece. You got the subject right on. Good job.

Connie
06/20/12
Beautiful job with this lovely piece. I enjoyed your powerful prayer. Thank you. God bless~
Congratulations for ranking 13th in level one!