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Drake was an unbeliever, but he was “good”. Drake did not smoke or drink or hang out with trashy people. I knew some of his friends and a couple of them are Christians. In my mind I was thinking he was really close to getting saved, so what’s the harm in getting to know him now? He will see it my way eventually, come to know the Lord, go to church with me, and perhaps someday we would get married. So, why was I not comfortable in telling my family? Well, of course they knew him as my friend and he hung out with us at our house and with my brothers, but I saw no point in telling them all the visits I do at his house alone. Would they really understand? You know how parents can be, kind of old fashioned.
In the car, Drake slipped his hand out of mine and took a hold of my thigh like he had the right. I sucked in my breath but said nothing. “There is a place I want to show you.” He took me to a secluded place by the water. There was a cute picket fence blocking the steep bank to the bay. The parking place looked as if no one had been there in ages, for the grass was already growing through the gravel. That probably meant no one would be around to bother us. That probably meant Drake and I were completely alone, in the car, our hormones going wild.
I praise God that I can tell you today that I am still a virgin, but walking away from him that day I felt anything but pure. It hit me like a sludge hammer everything my parents have taught me. What was I doing? I called Drake that very night and said that it was over. By the grace of God, I had no trouble explaining why. “Be ye not unequally yoked, (kjv) “ I told him. “Drake, there is no way we can see eye to eye on this. God is my first and true love and until He sends me who He intends for me, I will not sneak around with guys who do not believe the same way anymore.” No, Drake did not understand, and to this day I still pray for him.
I felt relieved after the break up, but that did not necessarily mean my obedience was completed. I had to trust God then. That next step is never easy. My prayer was something like this:
“Ok, Lord, it’s all you now. As we both have seen and what my family has seen, I can not find the man for me on my own. I have felt what it was like to be touched and passionately handled like I have longed, and like many other young girls, I thought that was what love was supposed to be. Whatever love is, it must come only from you or there would not be such a thing. I will not waste this time of prayer by asking you who in the world my mate is. But, I will take this time to make some of my own standards and promises as a young adult. I promise to abide by my father’s rules of dating; and I resolve to stay with my father until I am married. I promise to always love you first and check with you first before giving my heart to any man even if he is a born again believer; and I resolve to never try to be alone with a man unless I know we are to be married and our intentions are pure. I promise, Father God, to obey you: and I resolve to build my faith and trust you in all things. I know that you love me. I do not deserve that love. I know, Lord, you have a plan for me. I know that if I stick by these promises and resolutions, then the man I marry is going to be far more wonderful than I ever dreamed because he would be entirely from you. I pray, by your grace, I will do as I say. Help me to obey.”
Do you ever feel like a Peter walking on the water out to Jesus? I was a Peter. Instead of simply following Jesus’ instructions to look forward at his face and not to look away, I got distracted by the waves of life. They towered over me in turmoil. The waters below me were deep, but would know that at all if I just kept my eyes on the Lord? I did not deserve it, but when I sank–just like Peter–Jesus reached out and lifted me up for another chance.
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