I am writing this letter for you today with a fractured and broken heart. I have known for a long time that you suffer with a burning fire in your soul, one so out of control that you canít make sense of it. I wish you would have come to me with your problems, I was here and waiting for you.
You have become reclusive, spending your time reading articles that would only bring you insurmountable problems and looking at things on the internet that are worthless. You have built a wall around your heart and mind so mighty that a full army regiment couldnít have broken through it.
You think no one seeís or cares what is going on in your life, but Iíve always been here for you. Iíve wanted so desperately to talk to you, to help you, but you kept pushing me away.
You got so caught up in how people were treating you that you became a victim of your own mind. You needed a way out but couldnít find one. In your pain you decided that the best course of action was to get revenge on those who had hurt you most so you started making plans.
I continued to try and get your attention but you refused to let anyone help you. You pushed everyone away, even classmates that used to be close friends. You closed your ears so you couldnít hear anyone and hardened your heart until you could feel nothing.
I watched today as you entered the school, your duffle bag packed, your retaliation in process and nothing was going to stop you from doing what you thought had to be done.
It was ten minutes until time for the first class of the day to start. With sweating hands you watched the minutes tick by like a slow dripping faucet. Each drop hitting so hard that it shook your entire body like a leaf on a tree.
The bell alerting students to get to their first class rang out, the halls turned into a flurry of activity like a colony of ants rushing to get a job done.
Walking to the classroom, it seemed as if someone had pressed the slow motion button on your life, it became difficult to take those final dreadful steps.
You carefully unzipped your bag and pulled out the first of five guns that were concealed inside. You walked into the room and stood in the doorway waiting for them to see you, they needed to see you and remember who you were and what they had done to you all these years.
I saw you jump when the girl in the front row let out a blood curdling scream of GUN!
You opened fire showering the room in a ferocious spray of bullets and didnít stop until the clip was empty. With no emotion at all, you laid the gun down, picked up your duffle bag, selected another gun and walked out into the hall headed for another class.
I saw the police swarm the building; they were everywhere fast like beeís swarming to protect their hive. You were restrained shortly after the officers entered the school; they placed you in handcuffs and put you in the back seat of their cruiser.
Lying in the aftermath of your horrifying actions were twenty two of your classmates and two teachers with fatal wounds.
I want you to know that your classmates and teachers are with me now. They want you to know they have forgiven you and they hope that you will one day find peace.
I will close this letter to you stating that I love you and I will forever love you.
If you will allow me to, I will walk through this valley with you.
Knock on the door and I will open it and enter in to abide with you.
You can lay all of your burdens at my feet and lean on me for comfort and support. Iím available to you anytime day or night, we can talk whenever you want to.
Iím yearning for you to call on my name so that I may live within your heart and soul. To build an everlasting relationship with you and work through all the confusion and hurting you are going through.
Have faith my child, I have a plan for you and your life, one that will give you hope and a future.
All my love,
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