The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
06/07/12
A fine job with this story on "humility" having the MC facing the consequences of his actions. Admitting and being repentant, and praying...God is good and filled with mercy. Good job with this.

God bless~
You have done a good job of tackling a topic that is often heard about these days. Somehow the fame can go to one's head and they start feeling entitled.

The main thing I would advise you to work on is to make your dialog feel more natural. Also instead of little things like eating dinner in a restaurant show the reader what the mood is like. Does she gush over him because he is famous? Does he flaunt his title and use it as a way to get the better table. Give us a peek into their emotions, not what color their hair is.

Keep working on it, you're getting better but can't let up on those things that still need work.
06/09/12
This is a story few would bring to light; it is just too depressingly sad and oft repeated. You presented the problem well... a steress point in the pastor's life caused him to seek comfort where he had no right to be. The only thing i wondered about was the one phrase I had heard more commonly as, "know perfectly well," but maybe the person was stressed so his words got turned around? That happens to me sometimes. Thanks for the article.