The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
05/24/12
This was haunting in its depth and poetic with its meaning. Nice job.

God bless~
You have some great thoughts in this piece. I liked how the first paragraph presented a problem and the second a conclusion.

You do have some huge run-on sentences. Your opening one is over 4 lines long. Especially with short stories, it's important to have shorter sentences. Because the first part of the sentence is so long, by the time I got to the predicate, I forgot what the subject was. You also need to put ? after the last line of first paragraph. I think to help you connect with your reader better you need to give some examples of the risks you face upon awaking and how God provided you with comfort.

This has a poetic feel about it and is full of elegant thoughts. I liked the part about solace creeping in and rest fining godly souls. It is a profound statement. You seem to have an air of comfort with words and do a nice job of saying what you think in an elegant manner. I am nervous it may be a bit over many people's head and that would be a shame because I feel the Holy Spirit is using your gifts to reach others and it would be dreadful if someone missed this because it was overwhelming.
05/31/12
Some very deep thinking here. I especially liked the sentence referring to Utopia. Keep up the good work....

Wing His Words!