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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Risk (05/17/12)

TITLE: Saint or Sinner
By
05/21/12


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The story was told that in a certain village two brothers were caught stealing sheep. In those days sheep stealing was a crime punishable by death. Because of the leniency of the judge this sentence was suspended in the case of these two men. The court, however, demanded that they be branded on the forehead with the letters ST.
One brother left the village because he could no longer endure the disgrace. He feared that where ever he went people would ask the meaning of the letters. He drifted from place to place afraid of people and bitter with life. It was told that he eventually died and was buried in an unknown grave.

The other brother recognized his crime but decided to rise above it. He would risk the disgrace he would receive from his neighbors. He did not yield to the temptation to flee but stayed in his hometown and demonstrated that it was possible with Godís help to live above his failure and former sin. He worked hard all his life and was soon known for helping those in need. Soon a new generation grew up in the village and one day a stranger came to the village and seeing the letters S T on the old manís forehead asked one of the boyís what these letters stood for. The answer was, ďI really donít know the facts but I do know the character of the man. I think that the letters must stand for saint.

Such is the power of Christianity, a sinner transformed to become a saint. Let us turn from the sins of the past that have branded us, risking loosing friends and family and permit the grace of God to change us into living saints.


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Member Comments
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CD (Camille) Swanson 05/24/12
Great job with bringing the topic to life. Nicely done, and well told. I enjoyed it. God Bless~
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 05/29/12
This is a powerful allegory. What an original take on the topic.

While this is a good story, it could be an excellent one if you showed the reader instead of telling. Just to give you an example of what I mean the following is a way to show, to draw the reader into the story. --In a village far away, two brothers crept under the fence to steal the neighbor's prized sheep. Suddenly a bright light illuminated them in the middle of attempting to make a clean get-away by slipping through a break in the back gate.

I did this of the top of my head so it isn't perfect, but hopefully it helps you understand what I mean.

You have a natural knack for storytelling. The more you writer, the better you get. When you feel ready, I challenge you to attempt a story using minimal passive verbs like was, is, have get, etc. Instead use words that paint a picture and are active.

Your words did touch my heart and I thought the answer that the S must stand for Saint says so much. Your message of getting a second chance, even though we may not deserve it,grabbed my heart. Only through Christ's sacrifice and love do we get that second chance. All he asks in return is to minister to others and repent of our sins. This story will touch countless people. You did a fantastic job.