The Official Writing Challenge
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Great job with bringing the topic to life. Nicely done, and well told. I enjoyed it. God Bless~
This is a powerful allegory. What an original take on the topic.

While this is a good story, it could be an excellent one if you showed the reader instead of telling. Just to give you an example of what I mean the following is a way to show, to draw the reader into the story. --In a village far away, two brothers crept under the fence to steal the neighbor's prized sheep. Suddenly a bright light illuminated them in the middle of attempting to make a clean get-away by slipping through a break in the back gate.

I did this of the top of my head so it isn't perfect, but hopefully it helps you understand what I mean.

You have a natural knack for storytelling. The more you writer, the better you get. When you feel ready, I challenge you to attempt a story using minimal passive verbs like was, is, have get, etc. Instead use words that paint a picture and are active.

Your words did touch my heart and I thought the answer that the S must stand for Saint says so much. Your message of getting a second chance, even though we may not deserve it,grabbed my heart. Only through Christ's sacrifice and love do we get that second chance. All he asks in return is to minister to others and repent of our sins. This story will touch countless people. You did a fantastic job.