The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 384 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
05/24/12
My jaw clenched right along with Judy's. It takes a special sort of character to be an entrepreneur, and I'm glad Bob took the risk, and it worked out.

05/24/12
He followed his heart,and when it feels "right" - it is from God. So, praise the Lord he was successful...with lots of help from above!

Nicely written and told.

God bless~
This is a great take on the topic. I had to chuckle when the man didn't discuss quitting his job with his wife. I pictured him sleeping on the sofa.

You're getting better at making the dialog feel more natural. Also the narration part at times may seem not relevant to thestory. However the fact that he cut his meat and kept chewing showed thereader he was ignorant of the storm brewing in his wife. You did a nice job with this one.
05/26/12
Wow, you managed to get my juices boiling right along with Judy's as i read this article. It's a pretty big decision for both of their lives for your MC to make on his own but, alas, this is the situation in life today so you're telling it like it is, for sure. Nice that this couple was the exception to the rule, in the end, since today's economy doesn't allow for such happy endings all that often. Realistic dialogue here. Good job.
05/30/12
Good job grabbing the reader emotionally. I could feel Judy's frustration. The dialogue is good.

Might want to watch for unnecessary words. ("cut his steak with a knife") The reader will assume 'with a knife'.

Nicely done.