The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/24/12
This was such a beautiful poem. I loved the simplicity of the message, clearly delivered. Good job.

God bless~
This is a beautiful poem. I felt like you were speaking just to me.

I noticed a couple of tiny typos to instead of too and evermore is one word.I wonder if in 2 stanza if your meant not one instead no one.

Also you use the topic word a few times. I'd like to challenge you to write your story without using the topic word. A good piece is one when the reader can guess the topic without knowing what it is. I believe you are talented enough to pull this off. If you read some of the Master stories you'll see many don't use the topic word.

The rhyme and flow of this piece sounds like music to my ears. You did a terrific job of writing on topic and delivered A divine message without coming off as too preachy. This isn't always to accomplish but you make it look easy. :)
05/30/12
Such a beautiful poem with a meaningful message. Nicely done and on topic.