The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/24/12
This was profoundly beautiful. An excellent job of conveying the topic by delivering a message that touched my heart. Simply moved by this piece. Thank you.

God Bless~
A very beautiful article. I was touched by it as I feel others will be as well. I was hooked on the first paragraph and continue to read because I wanted to know more, not out of duty to read yet another article. Superb job! And if this is true God Bless you for adopting children, they are truly hand picked gifts from God. Our family knows and values this.
This is beautiful. I have how you share a personal experience, as it helps the reader connect with you.

My only suggestion would be careful not to repeat yourself. Some of the later paragraphs say pretty much the same thing as earlier. Perhaps A critique group or A challenge buddy could help you catchJ that. Check the message board for groups or buddies.

You do a wonderful job bringing the story full circle. The ending is strong and has a lovely message. It can be terrifying to follow God at times but not only will he provide strengthbut use you to make huge differences in so many lifes. This is right on topic and well-written!
05/30/12
Excellent first sentence that made me want to read on! I did find it a bit repetitive. Might be nice to read an example of a scary or risky thing that happened, and then balanced with the wonderful risk of adoption. Great imagery of the dancing and closing up the story the same way. Nicely done:)
You started well. I would have appreciated more information about your journey.

Keep writing! You show great ability.
Congratulations for placing 8th in level one!