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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Fragrance (10/24/05)

TITLE: Hay Time
By Michelle Vander Wal
10/27/05


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Fresh mown hay
Now what would you say
Evokes a more pleasant
Memory of summer

A grass eating caterpillar
Mowing down rows
Banks left to bake
In the hot sun

Biking by
The warm drowsy scent
Fills my head
Anchoring in my mind
With images of dappled green light
Warm sultry breezes

Rickety wagons full
Trundle into the yard
Always the hottest hour
When we begin

Slinging bales to and fro
Up the elevator
Square blocks ascending
To be stacked now one way then the other
Climbing into the mow is
Sticking your head in an oven

Hands blistered by the twine
Hot and dusty just one more time
Stomach growling in the homestretch
Thereís one wagon to go
Find a dry spot on your sweaty clothes
Wipe your brow, clear your nose

When all is done we trudge inside
Cold, cold water on our mind
Supper by the dimming light
Canít bale hay in the cooling night

Now driving down a country road
Window open and a whiff
Wafts in of fresh cut hay
It takes me home to those hot summer days
I rub the calluses on my hands
I smile and remember


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This article has been read 485 times
Member Comments
Member Date
dub W11/01/05
I liked much of this, the inadvertant rhymes actually broke the pace in several places. This is a good effort, and with work could be a great effort at free verse.
Nina Phillips11/01/05
I agree, I thought at first this was free verse material, and now and then the rhyme came in. Nice, descriptive though. God bless ya, littlelight
Jan Ackerson 11/02/05
Mmmmmmmmm, I can just smell it!

I agree with Dub, it should be all rhymed or all free verse; the occasional rhymes kinda throw one off.

Great choice of descriptive words!
Michelle Fout11/04/05
I really liked it. Have to agree with the others that it is strong enough to stand alone as prose. Very good imagery. Thank you for taking me back to yesteryear!
God Bless and keep writing!