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When I was a young I wanted to be famous, although all I ever achieved was infamy. I used to dream of being a singer, the only problem was, I couldn’t carry a tune. Then I thought I would like to be Doris Day. She was stunning, and she and James Garner seemed to be having so much fun in the movies.
I thought movie stars had it made. They were rich, famous and beautiful. They must have extraordinary lives, I thought. They had to be happy, by the way they were always smiling in those movies. I was more than willing to pay twenty five cents to plop myself down in the movie theatres to see that kind of happiness. Turns out, most of those famous people were not happy at all.
Funny how some of us bought into all that when we were kids. Remember all the Rock and Roll and Motown groups we thought were so cool? Not a lot of happiness there, either.
Oh, just to be famous, I thought. All that glory, people admiring you for your talent, whatever that might be. I was quite certain I didn’t have any. Once I was invited to be in a beauty contest in high school, until they asked what my talent was.
“I d-don’t exactly have a talent.” I stuttered. That was the end of that.
I never got to be famous, but there was a time when I was infamous, at least to all who knew me.
I sped through my school years and was told by a teacher I could be a writer, but I didn’t believe her. I made decent grades and was a good girl. I never dared to do anything wrong in high school. I did have a vivid imagination though and would often dream of running away.
Just after I graduated from high school I had my first real bout of manic depression, and the following fourteen years are something I still can’t wrap my mind around at times. When said I was infamous, this is the period of my life I was referring to. If anyone reading this knows anything about this particular mental illness, you know is isn’t pretty. Severe mood swing led to many pitfalls in my life.
My family didn’t call me infamous, just crazy. Something was wrong with Lynn, they said. Actually, they always thought I was a little off the beaten path, but I was a good girl, at least. Later they just shook their heads at me and wondered what in the world went wrong.
I married soon after graduation. I could say I married the wrong man, but a year later I gave birth to my wonderful son, and your children do make it hard to regret that part of your past. It was at this time my infamous period really took off and ended fourteen years later when a doctor diagnosed me as manic depressive, found the right medication, and my life ceased to be infamous.
The next twenty something years of my life were lived under somewhat ordinary circumstances, compared to the previous fourteen, anyway. The only problem was I didn’t know just what to do with all those resentments and the anger I had accumulated over a lifetime. I didn’t know Jesus very well then, but I would often pray for God to show me how to let it all go, and one day I got a most peculiar answer.
Wham! “You have a brain tumor. “
Whack! “You have stage four colon cancer.”
Zap! “You are going to die.”
With that, dear folks, came my fifteen minutes of fame, in the form of a miracle. On my knees, I asked Jesus to come into my life and save me, and that’s exactly what He did. Jesus heals, ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you, He heals. Three years later I’m alive and at this point, cancer free.
It hasn’t always been easy. Brain surgery, colon surgery, chemo, ablations, but I would go through it all again just to be where I am today. I am happier now than I have ever been. Jesus have given me an inner peace I never knew existed. If you’ve ever wondered if miracles of the Bible still happen these days, I’m here to tell you they do indeed.
Today I live to write about my Redeemer, and it’s not for my fame or glory, but for the Glory of God.
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