In a flash, my mind went back to three months earlier, I remembered the disagreement we had and what happened after. I felt I was treated me disrespectfully and things that were said afterwards were unkind.
For weeks I carried a sense of discouragement, anger, and pain about what happened. What was worse, was that the situation was having a distressing impact on a close family member. I was tired of it and just wanted it to go way.
Now, we were right face to face, our eyes met, but what next? What would I to say Miss Johnson. And how would she respond? I thought, “This is too much, I need time think through what I must say.” But there was no time.
Tentatively I said, “We are not speaking to each other these days.” I was trying to reach out to build broken fences. I really didn’t know how she would respond.
“We’re not seeing each other,” she said cautiously, not looking at me. I smiled and reached out and touched her lightly on her shoulder.
We made eye contact again, but just for a while. I said, “We have to speak to each other because we’re God’s children.”
Miss Johnson stoutly insisted, “Of course, there is no malice, after all, we are adults.” Despite her words I could hear anger, even pain, in her voice and her body language reflected inflexibility.
I responded, “Because we’re children of God, we need to talk.” It seemed that even in the step towards reconciliation we were not agreeing. There was not much more say to each other, and yet so much was left unsaid. I moved away.
I felt I did the right thing to reach out to her. It was time to bridge the divide that was created because of our disagreement three months earlier. But I had the uneasy feeling that things did not go as well as they should have gone.
I felt unsure about the step I took and how to move forward. However, that night, I thought through the events of the past weeks, especially what happened that day. I had to admit that in our exchange three months earlier, I didn’t do everything right. The Lord gently reminded that I have his life and I needed to allow it to shine forth in my relationships.
Life gets so tiring as I struggle with many troubling circumstances in my life. The situation with Miss Johnson was just one such challenge. So I continued to reflect on our meeting the next morning. Slowly, some of the doubts of the previous day’s meeting fell away.
I recognized that God had been teaching me some important lessons in the days before our meeting. I was learning that life is a journey, and my own life continues to be a learning process. The problem is that I sometimes try to do it all alone. Many times this ends in frustrations, fatigue and unachieved dreams.
My heavenly Father wants me to allow his life to flow through me in face of difficulties. The world needs this life to illuminate the darkness. He calls me to fan the flame of his love in dark world of pain and discouragement. In this case, it was to take a step to build a bridge to touch Miss Johnson.
I remembered the chorus, “It only takes a spark to get a fire going.” This spark is the doorway to true reconciliation. I was to continue to allow the life of Christ to flow through me to light up this difficult situation.
“For this reason, I am reminding you to fan into flames the gift of God that is within you ...” (2 Timothy 1:6 International Standard Version)
*This account is true with the person’s name changed.
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