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A Fragmented Mind
It was a warm summer day, Susan set in her chair on the porch with a soft breeze floating across her skin, pondering one of her favorite verses from the Bible. Isaiah 40:31 “But those who wait on the Lord will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.”
Memories of long ago gripped her heart. They rolled through her mind like the ripples in a wheat field on a windy day. Oh, how often she would sit at that window and day dream of working in her garden. The feel of the soft earth in her hands as she prepared the ground. Planting her flower bulbs and waiting for them to break through and make their tiny appearance known. Sometimes the flowers would come up so fast it reminded her of a ground squirrel popping out of his home in the ground. One minute there was nothing and the next there was.
How Susan longed to walk among the flowers, to lean down and smell their sweet fragrance. The aroma of summer mixed with pure beauty was overwhelming. To be out in the garden picking fresh vegetables or wondering through the strawberry patch and enjoying the liquid sunshine that enveloped her mouth when she ate one of the bright red berries.
She could never understand how some considered the care of a garden to be troublesome work. It refreshed her so to go and take care of the seedlings. To pamper and water them, to provide support when they were in need or removing the weeds that threaten to steal the water and nutrients her precious plants needed to grow and mature.
Then her memories flowed to the evening hours she would spend in the gardens. To listen to the choir of birds and insects as they sang their symphony of love to one another. Butterflies flittering from flower to flower, taking a moment here and there to stop and sip the abundance of nectar available there. Hummingbirds speeding around like the gardens as if it were their own version of the Indy 500. Darting back and forth, chasing one another and stopping for a brief moment to get a drink, their wings moving so fast that the naked eye couldn’t see them individually.
It had been three years since Susan’s accident. Three years since she has been able to fully enjoy the beauty of this world God has given so freely to her. Susan was weary from watching and wishing for a change in her situation, the thoughts and memories wore her out and exhausted her mind and body. The memories were all she had left, she didn’t have the strength to get up and move about. She had no strength left in her broken body to do the things she longed to do. Her mind so focused on what she couldn’t do that it was drained and only useful for dragging her through her memories of the past. How she longed to find different ways to enjoy her garden, different ways to be a part of God’s miracles and beauty.
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