The Official Writing Challenge
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This clouded my eyes with tears. The pain on the page is so real. I totally know where you are coming from and wonder how you know me so well.

It may have been a slightly stronger piece with a more attention grabber beginning. Not everyone will understand what standing with a soccer ball is like. Then the sudden switch from you to I threw me. I think if you had started with something like I look in the mirror and hate who I see staring back. then go on and share more of your story.

i was well in my 20s before I realized the golden rule was not a typo. I couldn't understand why God would want me to treat others like I treated myself. Did he really want me to deny them food? Did he really want me to criticize every part of my neighbor? Should I really loathe those around me?

Your piece takes me make to that time and you are so brave to share such intimate thoughts. I have no doubt God will use your words to touch and start the healing process for more people than you can imagine. You reminded me of how easy it is to fall back into the traps of my mind. Bless you and thank you for reminding me of where I have been so I can work extra hard at not returning.
05/12/12
Intense, riveting and powerful entry.

The "battlefield" of the mind can do so many things to many people. Clearly the MC has been barraged with thoughts and uncertainty...the words make the page "jump to life." It was a real and authentic piece that will touch many people.

Good job. God Bless you.

Camille~
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