The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
I liked alot good job!
This is beautiful. You grabbed me right away with the dead bugs. With that kind of detail I knew I was in for a great story and you didn't disappoint. The characters felt so real and the ending was beautiful.
05/12/12
A very realistic piece. The emotions the MC was feeling was evident, and was done in a way with "showing" rather than telling.

The dialogue at the end was natural and not stilted. Overall I enjoyed the storyline, and the wonderful conclusion bellowing "hope and love in Jesus'name."

Great job! Thanks.

God Bless,

Camille~
05/13/12
I'm finding myself in so many of these stories on "Weary"..maybe that's because I spent most of my life that way before finding Jesus....this was excellent and very realistic...was it true by any chance?
Congratulations for placing 8th in level one!