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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Rich (04/26/12)

TITLE: Priorities Set Straight


Priorities Set Straight
By Connie Vigil

Sam had no idea where he was going. He was supposed to be headed into work, but his mind was on other things. Sam lives the American dream…wonderful wife, house, and three beautiful children. They were, however, struggling financially to make ends meet. Sam felt trapped and guilty at the same time. His career paid the bare minimum each month of the bills. The kids were still small so it was not feasible for his wife to work. Sam was wondering how it came to this. Where his priorities not in the proper order? What was God trying to tell him this morning and where was he supposed to go if it was not into work?

Sam drove around for about 45 minutes before he approached a corner street and stopped at a red light. There was a homeless man pacing around holding a sign saying “will work for food, God bless”. Sam got a tug on his heart. He pulled up to the man and hit the button to roll down the passenger window. “He man, are you hungry? Get in and we will go get some breakfast.” The homeless man seemed hesitant at first then he jumped in the car. He thanked Sam for his selflessness and continued to tell Sam his story. Sam listened with an aching heart. This man lost everything. He was a Vietnam veteran and just could not hold down jobs or get much assistance from the government. The more Sam listened to his story, the more blessed he felt in his own life. They went to Sam’s favorite diner and had breakfast. Over breakfast Sam told the homeless man all about his family. The man thanked Sam as they were headed back out to the car and told him that he was richly blessed by his generosity. The homeless man told Sam that he was not financially blessed with a job but sure would keep looking. Sam had also shared with him about God and how he has a plan for each and every life. The man agreed and they prayed together. Then parting ways, Sam watched him from his car as the homeless man headed walking down the street until he could not see him anymore. Sam decided it was time for him to go into work. Two hours late probably would not make much of a difference since he was the senior pastor of his church. After having breakfast with the homeless man, Sam realized he was not wealthy by any means but he was rich spiritually and blessed in Christ and that is all that mattered. He asked God to forgive him of his greediness he faced earlier and thanked him for leading him to the homeless man. It gave him perspective in his own life and realized as long as he did the job God prepared him to do then everything else would fall into place. Oh how right God was!

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Member Comments
Member Date
C D Swanson 05/03/12
THis was such a beautiful story with a strong and powerful message.

I loved how God showed the MC how blessed he was, and showed him how important it was to be thankful through everything in our lives.

Nicely done. Thanks.

God Bless~
Laura Manley05/03/12
I love the message of your entry. We are as blessed as we want to be in life; sometimes we just need to look for those blessings or have someone reveal them to us. This is a fast-moving story with lots of feeling and thought in it. blessings...
Graham Insley05/05/12
A good story with good insight.

There is one 'where' in the first paragraph that should be 'were'. I felt some sentences could have been worded a little better; but the story flowed and made its point well.

Good job.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 05/06/12
This is a lovely story. I live in a very rural area and homeless people aren't something you would see here. However we have families living below the poverty level. Your story reinforced how no matter where we live, we can reach out and help others. Every year when we fill our freezer with meat, we make a point of giving some to a needy family. Your story reminded me that we can serve Jesus no matter what the circumstances.

I have a bit of red ink to hopefully give you some insight and to help your good stories become better. First you need to do more showing than telling. It's something every writer struggles with. One way to do this is to have more dialog. Instead of just saying the man was a homeless vet have him tell the MC. Also in your dialog use contractions because that is generally how most people speak. we'll instead of we will. Make sure you start a new paragraph with each speaker and double space between paragraphs.

Your story was on topic and had a wonderful message behind it. Keep writing for only you can tell the stories that God lays on your heart.