The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
05/03/12
Loved the style of this entry. It was so interesting the way it was presented. Good job with describing the epiphany that was bubbling up inside of the MC. It was slowly building until it exploded into a harsh reality of love and truth.

Great job. I loved simply loved it!

God bless~
Very cool and unique format. I like it. Impressive job showing the development and changing of a character with few words. My only issue is a great deal of changes happen almost on a daily basis. I think stretching out the entry dates a bit would help. At least for me. Excellent job.
05/04/12
I liked the 'diary' format...it's good to show a progressive train of thought.

And I loved the fact that the MC was moving towards his riches a little at a time, and thinking things through a day at a time.

Good job!
Wow what a brilliant piece of writing. Having it in a journal format was a great way to say all you did and remain under 750 words.

My only red ink would be with some of the punctuation. For example, you only use the semi-colon when you have two complete clauses. Each part of the sentence should be able to stand on its own. I also saw some spots that could use commas. I almost didn't mention this at all because it is a journal entry and it is quite probable that the punctuation could be wrong.

Overall, I thought it was a well-written piece that was definitely on topic. I almost felt guilty reading it because it seemed so real that I felt like I was invading someone's privacy. The repetition of the monster phrase worked so well. The changes in the MC's outlook was gradual and natural. He didn't have a light-bulb moment but more of a deeper understanding of himself. This is my favorite piece so far this week.
This is funny. I try hard not to read other comments before I read the story and comment on it because I don't want to be influenced by other opinions. I thought you did show a gradual epiphany and did it well. I noticed someone else thought it was too sudden which just goes to show you that these feedbacks are just one person's opinion. Keep writing, you have a great deal of talent. :)
05/05/12
I like the way you told this story in the form of your MC's diary. It was interesting to see him transform from a "monster" to a man who learned what it truly meant to be rich.
05/10/12
Congratulations and God Bless~