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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Rich (04/26/12)

TITLE: Beyond Rich
By Deborah Sampson


Beyond Rich
I was about to interview 6 people for our talk show. This would be on the topic of rich. I’m not sure what I was looking for, but I’d know when I heard these stories. One would be great I was sure.

What a difference in the range of people that was sitting before me. Well let’s get started, I thought. "Mr. Reynolds, I am Beth Myers, I’m ready to interview you now, come this way, please.” I led him back to my desk. “Please sit down, coffee?” I offered.

“No-no thank-you.” he said.

Mr. Reynolds seemed a little nervous. Looking at him I figured him to be in his thirties and a middle class worker.
“Now sir, tell me what does the word rich mean to you?” I asked him.

“Well, I am hoping you are sponsoring a Contest and I’ll win the big prize and I’ll become rich!” replied Mr. Reynolds eagerly, as he sat on the edge of his chair.

“Well, Mr. Reynolds, it’s not a contest, and I think maybe you have the wrong idea, but I thank you for coming in.” I informed him.

He looked a little down, but thanked me, mumbling under his breath as he left.

I was on my fourth interview, this time with Nat Cummings. She wanted me to know without a doubt that she knew the concept of rich, because she was, and I spent the next several minutes listening to her go on about her top paying job, her Pent House apartment and view, her jag and of course her clothes. She could have gone on, but when she mentioned that she would be a good one to speak about what it is like to be rich, I stopped her.

I called in my fifth interview; thus far, it was a big fat zero. A Mr. Matt Hastings now sat before me; Matt looked to be about 5o years old, casually dressed, and sure of himself.

“Mr. Hastings, please tell me what rich means to you.” I said.

“Call me Matt, little lady, that’s easy, if you want to be rich you must conserve and make every penny count, making sure you save every penny you can and make every penny “Squeal” before spending it.” He said. “That’s how I live, and saved my fortune, don’t let anyone talk you out of your money, and that includes family. You have to be tough, let them know that they don’t need half as much as they think. Don’t be caught up in gimmicks. It will eat your money away, why I-”

“Thank you, Mr. Hastings, you gave me a lot to think about and I will let you know what I decide.” Shaking my head thus far, I poured me a cup of coffee; I needed to settle my thoughts. What was I looking for and was it even out there? I had one more person to interview. I would soon know.

“Hello, Mr. Edwards. Could I get you some Coffee?” The man looked to be in his forties, well dressed, but modest in his demure.

“Call me Pastor Mike, and no I am fine.” He replied.
This surprised me a bit, a Pastor? Well nevertheless I would listen to his point of view also.

“Ok, Pastor Mike what does Rich mean to you?” I watched as a smile fell across his face.

“First, we need to know that there are two riches, one here on earth and rich as in heaven. Let me go further, being rich here is good, it makes life easy, comfortable and life for you and your family could be very fulfilling, even rewarding, but let’s remember, it could be taken away suddenly, you could lose your riches, and I believe the Bible says you can’t take it with you!” He smiled again. “Miss Myers, storing up your riches in Heaven is what it’s all about, where fire, moths, cannot get at it. What you do for God here, is stored in Heaven, the more you do, it’s more that is stored for eternity. The more I walk closer with my Father in obedience, working for His kingdom, I am becoming richer. Knowing that God owns everything anyways, He is pleased when we choose our riches in heaven.”

“Pastor Mike, thank you. You have given me the topic I’d like to discuss on Tuesday’s show. Will you help me?” I’d like to call it, ‘Beyond Rich.’

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Member Comments
Member Date
C D Swanson 05/03/12
Nice story,and well written...I especiallyloved the ending and the powerful conclusion. Rich are we indeed who are one with Christ.

Thanks for this.

God Bless~
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 05/04/12
This is a clever idea. I think it was quite original to show the story behind the story, so to speak. The way the MC searched for the definition of rich is the perfect analogy. You were able to tackle the topic in more than just one dimension.

Some of the lines hung me up. A good thing to do is ask someone else to read your story aloud. If they stumble on any sentence, you might want to consider rearranging it some. Also a good proofreader will help you catch little things like quotation and tag lines. If after a quote, you added she said then you need a comma in the quote and the tag line in lowercase. For example "I'm going to lunch," she said. Another way t6o show your readers instead of tell is describe what the MC is doing when talking. It still let's the reader know who is speaking and it paints a picture like this --"I'm going to lunch." She rubbed her stomach. Notice how this time there was a period at the end of the quote and the next line was capitalized because it is a complete sentence on its own.

You did a nice job writing on topic. Though several people have written about the same general message you presented it in a fun and different way. The ending was great and left me with a feel good feeling. You also had a nice beginning and created the conflict early on which also draws the reader into the story. Nice job overall!