The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 434 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
04/26/12
Thank you for this story that resonates truth and forgiveness...I was overwhelmed reading it, my heart smiled and my eyes glistened. Thank God for the strength He gave you to go forward...thank God for how much He loves us.

God Bless you and your wonderful family~
04/27/12
You need not wonder if you have a message people need to hear. You are in the midst of brokenhearted people who need the story of God's power to change lives. I guess that Jack & James are the same character...

Readers find it easier to read articles written with paragraph breaks, you might make a mental note of that. Again, good story, I liked the way you used the theme of looking back.

Wing His Words!
04/28/12
This is a beautiful story. you grabbed my attention immediately when you described Emma (I'm partial to red-heads and freckles)


To make this good story even better, you might want to work on showing the reader instead of telling. For example when Emma said please. Instead of telling show me. "Pl-e-e-e-e-a-s-e." Emma threw her arms around my leg. In that example I still let the reader know who was talking but painted a picture of what Emma might be doing.

I'm not sure if this is a true story or not but I suspect it is based on some truth. You did an excellent job of getting the reader to empathize with your characters. You also covered the topic in a fresh way while telling an important message. I'm eager to read more.
05/03/12
Congratulations for ranking 7th in level one!