The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
04/26/12
Ahhh...good story, I liked the little sneaky twist at the end!

Well written, enjoyable. Gave me an opportunity to think about the things that I mull over in my life without taking God into consideration first.

Liked this!
04/28/12
Wow - this was a well written and powerful story. I loved how Karl heard "God's voice" asking what happened to Him. It gave me chills. God is always waiting for one of His children to come back home. Lovely job.

This was really good. Thank you so much.

God Bless~
04/28/12
Wow - this was a well written and powerful story. I loved how Karl heard "God's voice" asking what happened to Him. It gave me chills. God is always waiting for one of His children to come back home. Lovely job.

This was really good. Thank you so much.

God Bless~
04/29/12
I love your little twist at the end of this fine piece of writing. Makes for a perfect ending of this story. When it is said "God works in mysterious ways, your story would be a source to reckon with/
04/30/12
This is powerful and a clear message of how God can be speaking to us/through us/for us/about us all at the same time.

The story grabbed me right from the start and your little clue about the whispered comment was a master stroke; only saw it after I reached the end.

bless ya and well done.
04/30/12
A lovely story with a twist I didn't see coming. This would be a great novel, padding out the past of dear, hurting Karl and the way Jim and his wife are able to move into his world and help him.

Great writing, very true to life. Well done.
04/30/12
Well done! I enjoyed reading this piece.
Excellent. A brilliant story, right on topic. Really great to read. Thankyou
I thoroughly enjoyed the article and loved the twist at the end. One line that tripped me up though was "Karl had been a Christian himself once himself." It has theological implications about salvation that maybe you could have avoided through rewording.
The line was "Karl had been a Christian himself once." Eye/finger coordination not working well this morning!
04/30/12
A great piece with a wonderfully solid message. I'm glad Jim was persistent with providing Karl with opportunities to respond ... in any way possible - that took courage. The twist at the end was great too. Very well done!
05/01/12
I really liked this. At this point, all I can write are naratives. I can't write conversations yet. Great stuff!
05/01/12
So well-written I heard "the whisper in the wind." Great job!
05/01/12
Whoa-ho-ho! Good ending! If that little bit doesn't get Karl's attention, nothing will!

Love the message to move on from the past. So often people let one tragic event fester and embitter them to the rest of life. But what we need to do is let go and look to God for what the rest of our life holds.

Good story!
I love this story! The characters felt so real. I almost jumped a bit in my chair when he let Jim have it!

The only red ink I see is ?!? isn't necessary to put the added punctuation in because you did such a stellar job with your words that I totally got the emotion behind the words without the extra punctuation. This is little too and could be I've heard/said it wrong all these years but I thought it was unleashed not unloosed. :)

The ending was superb! I didn't see it coming at all. I love how you added the whisper of the wind into the mix. It made it even more perfect (I guess more perfect isn't possible but if it were, you did!) You brought the topic in and showed the reader what can happen when we refuse to let go of our hurt and anger.
05/03/12
A great story. I'm so glad that it ended with Karl being receptive to Jim. Good job! God bless!