The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
04/26/12
This poem flowed easily and forms a lovely image by your descriptive verses.

Nice job. God Bless~
Great title for a great poem. Maybe use spaces a little better and break into sections. It would simply make it easier to read, that's all. Good job.
04/27/12
Great thoughts to focus on the second coming of the Lord Jesus Christ. Well done.
This is so lovely. It flows right off the tongue. I could easily see it on a sympathy card or even on a card for funerals where they give people hope.

You had a few issues with spacing. Sometimes there wasn't a space between commas and the next word. Hit preview before you hit submit and that will give you a chance to see how it looks to the reader. Though it was lovely, the don't look back line didn't seem to fit with the rest of the poem, more like you added it so it would be on topic. Some of the best on topic pieces are the ones that never mention the topic words. I think this one could have done that. I know before I've gotten nervous and wondered if I should add the topic words so it would fit.

All in all I thought it was a beautiful peace. poetry isn't my strongest genre but this had a nice rhythm to it and the rhymes were spot on. The message is beautiful. You did an excellent job of repeating Out of the blue. Sometimes repetition doesn't work, but in this case it worked perfectly.