Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Don’t Look Back (04/19/12)
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TITLE: Out of the Blue
By
04/23/12 -
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You will come for Your Bride,out of the blue
Out of this world,into Your glory so new
Away from this life,in the twinkling of an eye
The trumpet will sound and we'll soar through the sky
We'll realize the promise of Your Word,so wonderful and true
As You call to us,Your beloved,out of the blue
The clouds will part and Your glorious face we'll see
Then out of our bodies,our souls will be set free
Until then,Jesus our King,we'll wait eagerly for You
For the day the archangel shouts and You call us out of the blue
Don't look back;He's coming for us
On a day amazing and so wonderous
Out of the blue,into Heaven's marvelous light
Where there will be no more suffering,misery or night
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Nice job. God Bless~
You had a few issues with spacing. Sometimes there wasn't a space between commas and the next word. Hit preview before you hit submit and that will give you a chance to see how it looks to the reader. Though it was lovely, the don't look back line didn't seem to fit with the rest of the poem, more like you added it so it would be on topic. Some of the best on topic pieces are the ones that never mention the topic words. I think this one could have done that. I know before I've gotten nervous and wondered if I should add the topic words so it would fit.
All in all I thought it was a beautiful peace. poetry isn't my strongest genre but this had a nice rhythm to it and the rhymes were spot on. The message is beautiful. You did an excellent job of repeating Out of the blue. Sometimes repetition doesn't work, but in this case it worked perfectly.