The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
This is a sweet love story. I enjoyed it and could relate to the MC and his longing for his sweetheart.

You have a few minor things to fix like missing commas for example with phrases like In particular and for a Kansas farm boy, could both use a comma. You may also want to make the opening paragraph into two or three smaller ones to not overwhelm the reader.

All in all, you wrote a charming romance. You managed to capture the topic in her braid, as well as in the love they shared. The ending was great. I like the mysterious way you left it open ended. Nicely done.

I was captured from the start to the end the dog was a plus I enjoyed it.
04/22/12
This was a creative approach to the topic. You held my interest all the way through, and I enjoyed your entry.
04/22/12
Makes me wonder if we would all be better off if we only had one love in the world and one God to love in spirit. Great story.
04/23/12
I will not be a bit surprised if this shows up in the winners circle! I'm very impressed at your descriptive wording and story line. In short, this was a masterpiece!

Wing His Words!
04/24/12
Lovely story that tugs at the heart, just as you had wanted. Well done.
04/24/12
Absolutely wonderful story! Makes me feel as though you knew the subject very well. Keep writing...you have a gift.
Congratulations for placing 12th in level one!