The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
04/19/12
I liked your title a lot. It set the tone for your story.
It was a little hard for me to keep up with so many characters, but you made your point well.
04/21/12
I struggled with understanding the context of the 'establishment' the boys were in. Maybe needed an intro to it somehow. But that could just be my lack of knowledge.

Good story though and I enjoyed it.
04/22/12
I liked your story. It was a great object lesson on trusting God.

I really liked the title, "Adopted by God".

I will point out one thing in this sentence: A place with more rules and better equipped for rebellious youth like yourselves

I didn't think the sentence was real clear. I think it would be clearer if you wrote, "They have more rules and are better equipped...

Keep up the good work.
04/25/12
Surprised me with that ending! Story built up to that nice conclusion...

Wing His Words,
Congratulations for placing 9th in level one!