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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Fragrance (10/24/05)

TITLE: A Feeling
By deepti rao
10/25/05


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I can see life all changed,
I can feel a rhythm new,
I can see all sorrows vanishing,
I can see in darkness a light flashing ..

Oh! I know its you
Itís your fragrance, in my breath
That keeps me going..

I dance like a princess,
I sing like a bird,
I can see you passing by,
With you I can live and die..


Oh! I know its you
Itís your fragrance, in my breath
That keeps me going.

You are like a potion in my body,
You are like a shield to my soul,
You are a leader of my destiny,
Praises that I have for you are so many.

Coz, I know its you
Itís your fragrance, in my breath
That keeps me going.


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This article has been read 539 times
Member Comments
Member Date
dub W10/31/05
This is free verse, however the pace and beat are missing. I like the style; with work this will melt into a good poem.
dub W10/31/05
Wish we could edit these comments. Also, it is either a period (.) or an elipsis (...) for end punctuation. Helps with reading.
Nina Phillips10/31/05
I think was light and airy. Nice work. God bless ya, littlelight
Phyllis Inniss 11/01/05
Nice poem in free verse which allows for all sorts of possibilities. You have expressed a wonderful 'feeling'.
Jan Ackerson 11/02/05
A very tender love poem. The word "Coz" in the last stanza jars a bit; maybe that line should be "Because I know it's you".
karen McLamb11/05/05
This is great i really enjoy it.