The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
04/14/12
Point well taken. Christmas definitely needs more of the real meaning as people celebrate. Your poem seems crowded to me. It might be easier to read in verses and with more punctuation. Yet your message is good.
04/14/12
I loved this short, yet powerful message of Jesus Christ's birth. It flowed beautifully and made my heart smile. Thank you.

I can easily see this in a Christmas issue of an online magazine.

Thanks for loving God.

God Bless~
This is a perfect piece. You reach right in and grab me with your words. You made some wonderful points.

The only thing I might suggest is to perhaps break it into verses and double space between them. The white space is so important so the reader doesn't feel overwhelmed. (especially on the internet) I also noticed you missed some spacing between words. That can be caught if you hit the preview button and proof it several times before submitting.

All in all, I think you did a wonderful job. You touched my heart and your message was clear and concise without being preachy. I look forward to reading more of your work.
04/19/12
I love the message in this. Absolutely to the point and wonderful. I hope it gets some acknowledgement.