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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Holiday (04/05/12)

TITLE: Holy Day
By lynn gipson
04/06/12


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The word holiday was derived from Holy Day. This was a day given to workers in biblical times so that they might be able to go to church and worship God. It has, in my opinion, been grossly distorted into any day of the year in which people are given a day off work. So I wrote the following description of what I feel is an real holiday, and given this time of year, I described my feelings of Easter.


Dogwood trees in full bloom
Scents of glorious perfume
Flowers color a beautiful maize
'Tis nothing but a holiday

Fresh buds point towards the sky
April's mist falls in my eye
Canvas sky streaked blue and gray
'Tis nothing but a holiday


Sweet surrender at the altar
Earnest voices do not falter
On knees before His Son we pray
'Tis nothing but a holiday


Pastor shouts "He is arisen!"
All our sins have been forgiven
Hearts and souls may rest today
'Tis nothing but a holiday


Then sings my soul this mighty song
Of the one who was so strong
Died to wash me sins away
'Tis nothing but a holiday


Jesus hear me now my savior
Keep my always in thy favor
You are alive and here to stay
'Tis nothing but a holiday


On my knees now Lord I ask
Make me reborn, my past is past
Let me come with you I pray
'Tis nothing but a holiday


I lift my eyes and tears do come
Though words do fail me, my soul sings strong
Your spirit is in me, You'll not betray
'Tis nothing but a holiday


My love for You is never ending
My faith renewed, my heart is mended
Jesus, you died and I was saved
'Tis nothing but a Holy Day


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This article has been read 315 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Laura Manley04/12/12
I absolutely LOVE this poem! It drew me in from the very beginning. Your rhythm is excellent; the words are right on. In the fourth verse from the bottom when you say "Keep my always in thy favor," I think you meant keep "me." This is a winner in my book! Excellent!
Genia Gilbert04/13/12
This could use a few more commas and periods, but all in all, I think it's very good. Great theme and well worded!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 04/13/12
This is so lovely. You painted a lovely picture with your words. I could see the sky and almost smell the blossoms.

I think this is a piece, if you are at all like me, that you will fine tune and maybe switch some lines and change the rhythms some. I know my poems never seem quite perfect to me. I'd encourage you to keep fine-tuning it because it really touched my heart. Fix little things like my instead of me and maze instead of maize(though maybe you were describing it to mean the color of corn but id so you may want to change that) also He is arisen doesn't sound right, I think it should be He is risen or He has arose.

I'm also not sure if you needed the editorial at the beginning. It may have distracted a tad from the powerful words in your poem. And it wasn't needed because your poem told the reader that it was about Easter and the last line was so powerful and beautiful, it's clear that you view it as a very holy day indeed. You did a great job. Absolutely beautiful.
CD (Camille) Swanson 04/13/12
Simply put - a beautiful poem filled with your love for God...touching & powerful. Thank you, this touched my heart. God Bless~
Lillian Rhoades 04/15/12
Loved the metaphors and actions words to depict the Easter season.
I had a problem with your last line: "Tis nothing but a holiday." I thought it trivialized the sacred meaning of Easter. Perhaps,
" 'Tis much more than a holiday" would better support the message your poem and title conveys; in my opinion of course.:-)

Great message!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 04/19/12
Congratulations for ranking 10th in level one!