Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Four Ways For A Christian Writer To Win A Publishing Package HERE



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Predicament (03/01/12)

TITLE: Puppy Love Ends With a Bite
By Vicki J. Cypcar
03/08/12


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

Puppy Love Ends With a Bite

My name is Nicki, and I am the youngest of three girls. I look just like my middle sister Roberta. The day I was born my dad held me and said two words -same mold. Roberta and I became best friends, although we did have some sisterly scuffles along the way.

It was the summer of 1974 when Roberta fell in love for the very first time. His name was Roger. They spent the summer days together holding hands and sneaking kisses. It was a true puppy love predicament when Rogers’ family packed up and relocated to Aurora, which was thirty miles away. When he came over to say good-bye he was wearing his favorite shirt, the red one she had given him for his birthday. He gave Roberta a ring and promised that their love would never die.

As luck would have it we moved to Aurora in the winter of 1974, and would attend the same high school. We naively believed it was fate – that Roger and Roberta were destined to be together. We came up with ways to surprise Roger. Our favorite scenario was where Roberta would enter the doors of the school and Roger would see her, run to embrace her, with his eyes filled with tears. Of course he would be wearing his favorite red shirt. Roberta wasn’t even seventeen, and I was fourteen, so we both had the tendency to romanticize. My sister and I could easily pass for twins. We had long brown hair and we enjoyed dressing alike, we even had matching white coats, which we wore that first day of school.

As we walked down the hallway together we saw Roger walking toward us. He is wearing the red shirt -this was it. This was the much anticipated magic moment. But it was odd because when he saw us, he turned and ran the other way. This wasn’t at all like the romantic scenario we expected - no -something was definitely amiss.

As the day progressed we realized we were being followed. Three girls in plaid shirts, bell bottoms, and cowboy boots were tailing us. As we walked down the hall they crept up behind us and started kicking us in the back of our legs with their cowboy boots.

So here we are, our first day in a new school. Dear, sweet, Roger is now ‘Roger the Dodger’ and we have three mean girls kicking us. Irritated we turned to ask- “What’s your problem?”

The tallest one tells my sister that she and Roger have been dating since he started attending Hinkley. Then she demands that Roberta give her the ring she is wearing. I will never forget what happened next, because Roberta remained calm even though her heart was breaking. She took off the ring, and said, “Well – here you go.” She then pitched it as hard as she could down the hallway. I must say, it was beautiful execution. The cowgirl went chasing after that cheap piece of tin and scrambled to pick it up. I can still hear the shuffle of the cowboy boots as she ran down the hall after it. I figured – well- that takes care of that -boy was I wrong.

She returned with the ring and the three girls continued to harass Roberta, and before I knew it they were all beating her. They were pulling her hair, punching and kicking her. Enraged I threw myself into the fight in attempt to free Roberta. Fortunately some teachers were able to break it up, and we were all sent to the principal’s office. I remember sitting in the office next to Roberta in a state of disbelief. Once the principal heard our testimony we were free to go. We went home that day bruised and confused.

So that was our Hinkley high debut, not at all what we expected it to be. News of our hall brawl echoed for weeks, and nobody bothered us for the remainder of the year – especially Roger the dodger and his posse.

Unexpected predicaments have a way of teaching us who we are. That day in 1974, I realized I wasn’t going to let anyone hurt my sister. The love I have for my sister is far greater than the fear of a fight. Unfortunately we also learned the hard way that puppy love can end with a bite.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 214 times
Member Comments
Member Date
CD Swanson 03/10/12
Thank you for this story of "sister love." Beautiful job with creating the angst and anticipation at once of the situation at hand.

I was happy with the message of "sisters/family" being an important part of who "we are" in the long run.

Nice job. God bless~
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 03/10/12
This is a great story. I love the title. You did a wonderful job of developing believable characters.

You may want to work on tightening your story by getting rid of parts that aren't totally necessary to the story, for example the girls dressing alike and words like very in very first time. Actually the phrase she fell in love for the first time has a greater impact than very first. Using that same example work on showing instead of telling that she fell in love for first time. Ex In the summer, Roberta started making goo-goo eyes over Roger. She scribble his name on any place she found. This shows she is falling in love and paints a picture for reader.

Your beginning was good. I think it would have been fantastic if you skipped the first paragraph and started with second. You did a great job keeping the story moving at a good pace. The ending was great. I liked how you came full circle. You definitely covered the topic in a way many can relate to. This is a fun stor!