The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
03/10/12
Awwww! My kind of story. Sweet, romantic and happy ending. Nice job.

God Bless
This is a good story. You start right off in the beginning grabbing the reader's attention.

I can tell you have been working on showing more and telling less. You are doing a good job. Another thing you can do to make your writing even better is to get rid of passive verbs like was, were etc. For example, in the beginning,instead of saying this was the worst argument switch it up They'd argued ferociously; it stood out in her memory as the worst one ever. It's a little thing but it will pack a bigger punch and free up the passive verbs for times when nothing else will work.

You did a wonderful you of representing the topic. There were several predicaments-the fight, being stranded, the storm, no phones. I think it was clever to makethe story a predicament in so many different ways. Each reader may relate to several different conflicts depending on what's happening in the reader's life. Nicely done!
03/11/12
How many times I have done something that later I was sorry for! Your story reminded me of more than one! I like your style of writing and you had my attention from the first word.
This is a well written story. It held my attention from start to finish. It shows a lot of promise for the future.

I hope you keep writing.
Congratulations for placing 7th in level 1!