The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
03/10/12
You did a great job of building the story slowly before delivering a powerful ending. Fantastic job.

This was a really good story!
Thank you.

God Bless~
I enjoyed this suspenseful tale. You drew me right in. I love the ending with the kids reassuring Mom. My only complaint is that I wanted to keep reading. I definitely could see this turning into a great novel.
03/11/12
I enjoyed this story very much. This may sound minute, but I would want such a thing pointed out to me; when you are "thinking," use a single quote, not double quotes. And I'm sure it was an oversight when you did not capitalize "him" in referring to God. To me, that gives Him reverence. I liked the suspect of your story.