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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Predicament (03/01/12)

TITLE: Choices
By Ken Langenbrunner
03/05/12


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The scene is intense. Why was she alone at such a critical time in her short existence? The quizzical look on her face deepened, as her eyes continued to fixate on the tree. The cool of the day was just beginning, and the soft gentle breeze caused the fruit to sway ever so gently, enticing her the more with each passing moment. She’s thinking to herself, wondering where that man is when she needs him. Oh yes, she remembers, it was her that wandered off from him, as they played their little game of hide and seek.

“Oh kind serpent, you say it’s okay, yet Adam claims Father says not to eat or touch. Adam once told me I was his helpmate, so I should be able to make a decision on my own. When I need it the most, where is that phantom pain in his side that he brags about when he thinks I’m in trouble? And what did he mean by that remark that sometimes that pain is even a little bit lower?”

She fantasies a little longer, as words of deceit from the serpent urge her on. Then, she reaches out, tugs on the fruit, and makes her choice by taking a bite, just as Adam turns to see where she has strayed. His smile of adventure in seeking his hiding loved one, suddenly turns to a look of pain and unbelief as he sees his beloved “Woman” take that fatal bite, wiping the juicy after-flow from her chin.

The lust in her eyes became a delight in her taste buds, as she turned to her man to offer him participation in her decision of choice. As he stands there in dismal dismay, he now knows he must make a decision as well. On the one hand, there is the remembrance of all the sweet fellowship with his Creator since his beginning. The whole time has been filled with happiness and exploration, of joy and contentment, especially with the addition of this lovely bride. Alas, the warning, the only ONE specific rule flashes continuously through his mind, that he is not to eat from that one tree in the middle, or else he dies, eat of it and die…

“Oh Father…Father.”

On the other side of this distress is the memory of what he sacrificed from his own divinely created body, to the making of hers. It was a part of the rib section, close to his heart, symbolic of the love, care, and protection he would bathe her in as they fulfilled the commands of their creator to replenish the earth with many more little Adam’s and Eve’s. There must have been a momentary shock when he saw what she had done. I believe he was so captivated by her beauty and his love for her, that his need for a quick decision became pure agony of which to choose: obedience or death.

The deceiver waited to catch the woman alone, being the weaker vessel, but using her to get to Adam, because Adam was not deceived, but got caught up as a willing accomplice. I can understand his enormous love and predicament with his God given companion. For I have also experienced such strong heart-string tugs from a God given love; a love so strong and endearing, that you would walk to the ends of the earth just to stand next to her. The scripture tells us that she gave to her husband, and he did eat, so obviously Adam’s choice was to willingly take the bite. You can almost hear the crunch of disobedience and loss of fellowship.

Did Adam know what he was giving up? Did he even understand what death was? I believe as he stood there before his “soul mate”, his eyes never left hers, and he gently, lovingly took a hold of her warm precious hand, guiding the fruit to his lips to share in her judgment. Maybe he was choosing not to allow her to face the consequences alone.

Was it out of guilt or just true love? What if he would have refused her offer of a bite? Could he have lived without her, thinking that she would die from the disobedience, for that would mean he would again be alone. Perhaps, if he had chosen wiser, his obedience would have been praised and his love interest spared? Where would we be now if we had made wiser choices in our past?


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This article has been read 194 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Laura Manley03/10/12
A big lesson to be learned here. I thought your story read smoothly and asked some questions that perhaps we all should ask ourselves.
Camille (C D) Swanson 03/10/12
Nice creative entry. This held powerful and thought provoking moments. I truly enjoyed this. Thank you.

God bless~
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 03/10/12
I enjoyed this retelling of the familiar story. It definitely fits the topic. Try to do more showing than telling. Instead of saying the scene is intense, describe it. The wind calmed, the birds halted their twitting, as the hair on the back of Eve's arm stood out. Paint a picture for your reader. I liked the idea of telling about the first predicament we humans put ourselves in. We certainly have perfected it over the years.