The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
03/08/12
I liked the content of your story; however, I found too much telling and not enough showing. In the third paragraph you say "team are." I don't know if you meant "team is" or "teams are." Other than that, I liked your story line very much.
03/09/12
Hahahahahahaha...I loved the last line. This was such a great story! It was on topic, and felt genuine throughout...and therefore I wasn't surprised to learn it was based on "actual events."

Great message. I loved how the Lord delivered the message IMMEDIATELY to confirm His will.

Just a really great entry. Good job. God Bless~
This is a sweet story of how God works things out for us.

Try to do some more showing than telling. Instead of using tag lines like she said, use it to describe what the character is doing like Her hands fluttered to her throat.

I'm glad that things have made some progress. Women do have gifts of teaching the Bible and can show God's love for others. God has given each of us special gifts to use
03/11/12
I 'm so glad women are being given the opportunity to speak into the lives of God's people more now days. Very good story!