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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Encouragement (02/23/12)

TITLE: I Got Your Back
By Robin Ocasio


Dont talk to me, please dont talk to me.
Oh Lord, p l e a s e dont let that creepy looking dude talk to!

This is a complete turn about from my earlier prayers of, Here I am Lord, use me, Send me! and Speak Lord, for your servant is listening.

At the moment, I dont really care about those prayers; Im just intent on hightailing it back into the church as fast as my scrawny legs can carry me.

Something about the figure heading directly towards me is screaming DANGER! DESPERATION! And to my finely attuned senses; Stay Far, Far Away! Im chalking it up to the Holy Ghost Early Warning System installed in every believer!

At last, safety, just two short steps away. Reaching for the door knob Im breathing a sigh of relief. I made it. Phew!

Maam, Can I talk to you? The voice was low, intense. Just off to my side from behind.

NOT SAFE! Lord whats happening here? Do I have to answer? Cant I just pretend I didnt hear?

It came again, Maam, can I talk to you? I really need to talk to someone right now! It cant wait! The voice continued. It was closer now, maybe three feet behind me.

Gulp! I really did not want to talk to this guy. Im a small town girl. This is a big city, with lots of dangers. Why did I ever leave home to be a traveling missionary?

Stupid me!

My parents will be crushed when they receive the news of my death.

Um - just when did I become a Maam? Im just 19!

Turning slowly towards, the voice, I felt an inkling of calmness began to flitter in the pit of my stomach. Soon a thousand bible verses began flying threw my mind, enabling me, encouraging me.

As I looked in to the eyes before me, his voice continued. I need someone to talk to. To pray for my family, not me for my family because, I have a gun hidden in a paper bag just down the highway and when I leave here, Im going to find and kill two people.

Three hours later, (Ill call him Tommy), was praying for himself, his family, and his enemies. Tommy had accepted Jesus in to his heart.

What had started out as my mission to avoid the creepy looking dude had turned into the salvation of the same. There is no better encouragement than that.

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This article has been read 274 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Donna Wilcher03/02/12
Wow! You kept me on the edge of my seat! My heart stopped beating! and the end was one of those "Thank God" moments!

Great story..and you told it well!
Nancy Bucca03/04/12
Ooh, what a suspense story! I love how you wrapped it up at the end.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 03/08/12
You surprised me with your ending. I was sensing more humor in the beginning. I would have loved if you had expanded on this piece. Try using all 750 words to show your reader why Tommy was hurting so that he thought murder was the answer. I do love your message of answering God's call. Sometimes it can be quite scary but He is always there for us.
Laura Manley03/08/12
I enjoyed your entry very much. When you are speaking for the MC, you might consider putting what he/she is saying in italics. To me, it would be easier to read. One of the things I noticed is that when you are referring to "into," you are writing it "in to," and I think the prior is correct. Please check before taking my word, though. Also, I was struck when you said "calmness began to fltter;" to me, calmness would not "flitter" so in my opinion, I would have used another word to describe my calmness because to "flitter" seems too active to describe the calmness you felt. If you understand that last sentence I wrote, you're a better person than me. Seriously, I truly enjoyed your entry. Keep up the good work!