The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
03/01/12
Wow..what a touching piece. I could feel the pain of each of your characters; what they went through and all they needed was just one someone to reach out and give them encouragement.

Very nicely told...good work!
You evoked such empathy and sorrow with each telling of these situations. It takes so little to encourage, doesn't it?
One problem that I saw was a lack of punctuation. I am not certain what happened with that.
Be encouraged and keep writing.
03/02/12
Excellent depictions of how important it is to encourage, and love and support others. Well done, and well told.

God Bless~
03/04/12
You make an important point about the need for encouragement. There are many people out there who can use it. Thanks for sharing.
This is a heart-wrenching verse. It tugs at my heart and fills my eyes with tears. There are so many hurting people out there and just as many reasons for why they are hurting. A million stories, yet it only takes one person to say just a few words to make someone's day better.

I'm not an expert at poetry, so I don't have a lot of red ink for this free style verse. The one thing I noticed is though you didn't use end punctuation, you did use semi-colons. It's a little thing but I think if you had been consistent and not put in any semi-colons or commas or put in periods and question marks, it might have had a greater impact on me. I like the idea of no punctuation because it created this run-on effect that mirrored the words in your story. The world is a big run-on of hurting people. I thought that was a clever way to show it and help the reader feel your meaning.