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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Experiment (02/16/12)

TITLE: Switcharoo
By Donna Wilcher


“Have you lost your mind?” Ronny whispered, doing his best to keep his voice as quiet as possible, then turned and quietly closed the door behind him. “What are you thinking? Besides we couldn’t get away with that in a bazillion years!”

Ronny leaned over, put his ear to the door and waited, letting out a sigh of relief when he didn’t hear anything. He turned around just in time to see John flop down hard on the bed, making the poor cat bounce up and run off to hide.

“I haven’t lost my mind, you’re just a chicken” John said, with that pouty face he was so good at making. “Besides, who says we can’t pull it off?”

John leapt up off the bed, ran across the room to his desk; searching frantically through all the mess. “Yes! Here it is” snatching up the report, turning around and thrusting it into his brothers’ reluctant hands.

“Please, read this” John begged. “I did all the work, all you have to do is stand up there and read it to the class” continuing to beg, “You just gotta do this for me, if you don’t I’m gonna get in trouble…Big-Time! Mom and Dad’ll clobber me if Mrs. Johnson doesn’t give me a good grade on this stupid thing” he said, with a whiny voice, and looking at Ronny with those big puppy-dog eyes he always used to get his way.

“Whatever” Ronny mumbled, then shrugged his shoulders.

Ronny knew Mom and Dad wouldn’t clobber John, but they would be disappointed, and he really hated it when they were disappointed, even when it involved his lame-brained brother.

Both of them really enjoyed being an identical twin. Pulling pranks was certainly one of the best things about it, and boy had they pulled off some really good ones over the years. After all, most folks couldn’t tell them apart, especially if they were wearing the same clothes.

“So, what we gotta do is figure out how to sneak out and switch rooms at the right time, Ok?” John asked, wiggling and waving his arms around, encouraging Ronny to come up with some ideas.

“Wait a minute!” Ronny said, trying one more time to talk some sense into his brother. “This is serious; don’t you remember Dad just told us the other day not to lie? Ever! For any reason!”

“This ain’t lyin, it’s like pullin another joke on em,” John said, waving him off.

Monday 6:30 am . . .

John hopped out of bed, ran over and shook Ronny vigorously, who was laying there stiff and motionless, with his tongue lolling out of the side of his mouth.

“Oh, come on, you ain’t dead”, “Get up!” John said, giving him another swat.

“I’m not feelin so good,” Ronny groaned weakly, “Maybe I got a cold or something”

“You ain’t sick either, you’re just tryin to chicken out again” John scoffed.

“Argh!” Ronny reluctantly rolled out of bed.

Monday 10:15 am . . .

John raised his hand, waving it around in the air.

“Yes, John?” Mrs. Johnson said, finally responding.

“May I go to the restroom” squirming around in his seat.

“Yes, but you get right back here. We’re going to start giving our oral reports in just a few minutes.”

John ran as fast as he could, and skid to a stop in front of the restroom door, entered and found Ronny already there frantically undressing. With a flurry of shirts and shoes flying around and hastily being passed between them, finally managing to swap clothes and re-dress.

“Ready?” John asked.

“No!” But let’s go ahead and get this dumb thing over with.” Ronny answered.

Monday 10:25 am . . .

They peaked out of the bathroom door. Satisfied that no one was around, they took off running as fast as they could back to each others classrooms.

As Ronny walked into John’s classroom, Mrs. Johnson looked over and said. “Oh good, you’re back, I’d like for you to give your oral report next”.

Ronny walked slowly over to John’s desk to get his brothers report…

Miss Johnson, pausing to take a second look at him, and then smiling said “John? Excuse me, could you please tell me why your shirt is on backwards, and what in the world happened to your shoes?”


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This article has been read 366 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Theresa Santy 02/23/12
This is a fun, delightful piece, packed with suspense. I loved how you portrayed the twin boys, their characters came shining through.
C D Swanson 02/24/12
Hahahahahahahahaha...I am still laughing at the last line! This was a sheer delight to read. Nicely done, and nicely told.

God bless~
Jody Day 02/25/12
Very well done. I love the dialogue and action. I was interested from beginning to end. Good job!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 02/26/12
This is a fun read. I enjoyed the banter between the brothers.

I noticed at times, you used incomplete sentences between quotes. For example, continuing to beg, instead use that spot to describe his actions like: He clasped his hands together. This is another one: snatching up the report, turning around and
Turn that into showing by saying it like this: He snatched the report, turned around, and...
They are little things but will help the story to flow better.

I enjoyed your characters so much. I could feel the tension and the excitement as I read the story. I liked how you handled the topic. The ending is great.
Cynthia Carter02/29/12
This was so fun. It really drew me in and kept me reading. Great ending.