I cried myself to sleep last night. I was not sad or heartbroken; I was angry! Marriage is a partnership, a support system. Where was my pillar of support? I ask him how his day is every day. I had the worst day I have had since I can remember and he had his feet up, watching television, the occasional snore wafting into the kitchen.
“How was your day, honey?” I asked.
“It was okay. What’s for dinner?” He kicked off his shoes and nudged them under the table.
Out of sight - out of mind. Who does he think he’s fooling, hiding his shoes?
“Oh, do you mind sandwiches tonight? I just got home myself and I have a meeting in a little while.” I said.
“Thursday night, school meeting.”
“Oh, yeah. Okay. I’m gonna go relax for a bit.”
Off he went without a care in the world.
I sat down at the kitchen table thinking about how Jillie could not find her backpack this morning and made me late to work. When I finally arrived, some of the boss’s work had migrated to my desk.
“Just when you have time,” she said, which clearly meant, “Have it done before you go home.”
Who needs lunch when there is a perfectly good vending machine in the next building? Not me. I can run off of any fuel!
As the day continued to go downhill, so did my attitude. I eventually closed the door to my office so I could get my work done and spare my co-workers the negativity I felt seeping from my pores.
When five o’clock rolled around at last, I attempted to sneak from my office, only to be met at the door.
“Catie, did you get a chance to run the reports for Friday?”
“Um, no, I’m sorry, Ms. Davis. I was going to do it tomorrow. I left a slot open in my schedule.”
“I won’t be here tomorrow. Can you go ahead and do it?”
“You’re the boss. Give me just a few minutes.” Boss? Bossy is more like it.
“Thanks!” Ms. Davis walked away with a new spring in her step.
As I walked into my front door, I expected a peace to envelop me. Instead I was met with children arguing and the little messes that the puppy had left all over the house. I triaged the situation and decided that the squabble was turning into a full-fledged skirmish and trumped the mess on the rug and expensive belt which had been used as a chew toy.
“Okay, kids, break it up, please. What’s going on?”
If you have never listened to three children speaking at once, I liken it to a small riot but not as pleasant. I managed to calm the situation without instituting martial law.
I sent the children to wash up for dinner just as I heard my “rock” drive up and I could not wait to tell him all about my day. That did not go as expected.
As I left for my meeting, I decided to try a little experiment. I refused to tell him a thing about my day or ask him about his until further notice. I can outlast him indefinitely.
I was wrong.
I awoke this morning, a bitter feeling in the pit of my stomach. He kissed my forehead as he left for work. I fumed.
As I drove to work, it occurred to me that I failed to tell my children to have a good day as I am dropped them off. I had to pull over, convicted that I hade betrayed my family and I would have to make amends.
God, I have not been living for You, but only thinking of myself. Please forgive me for being bitter and self-centered. You have given me the gift of a husband and I have shunned that gift by expecting him to read my mind. Lord, please help me to always do Your will. Amen.
A calmness washed over me, soothing my soul and I knew that I was forgiven. I decided that this would be the first day of my new experiment, loving my husband as Jesus loves me, unconditionally.
When he comes home from work, I will meet him at the door.
“Hi, honey! How was your day?” I will ask, and I cannot wait to hear his answer.
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