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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Appointment (02/09/12)

TITLE: THE LUGGAGE
By Randy Foncree
02/12/12


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Two men were standing in this train station. One was the conductor, and the other a passenger.

Conductor: “You can’t bring that!”

Passenger: “My luggage?”

Conductor: “There’s two suitcases and one box. You’re not allowed luggage.”

Passenger: “I’d never heard of a train that you couldn’t bring luggage. I want to speak to management!”

Conductor: “Management is very busy. There’s only one above me, and you’ll be meeting him soon.”

Passenger: “My most valued assets are in these suitcases and box.”

Conductor: “You don’t say.”

Passenger: “Do you know who I am? I’m one of the most influential executives in my city.”

Conductor: “That doesn’t matter now. You’re no longer there!”

Passenger: “We’ll see about that!”

The passenger runs for an exit, but finds none. He sprints back to the conductor.

Passenger: “What is this? How do you leave this place?”

Conductor: “What’s the last thing you remember before arriving here?”

Passenger: “I was driving down route 69 - thinking of my fat bank account since our company stock went through the roof two weeks ago. I was driving along, then a semi truck--then…I don’t remember much after that. What’s going on? Where am I?”

Conductor: “Do you remember seeing anything after your memory faded?”

Passenger: “Yes, I think I do. I was standing next to my (pauses), crumpled up car, looking at what appeared be (pauses), a body. I had my suitcases and box, and then ended up here."

Conductor: "Did you recognize the body?"

Passenger: (flush) “Wh where am I now? What is this place?"

Conductor: “This is the train to judgment.”

Passenger: “Is this some kind of Joke? Did Ray and the guys put you up to this? This is some elaborate gag, right?”

Conductor: “This is no joke. You must go before the judge and give an account for your life.”

Passenger: “Account for my life? I was a good person. I never hurt anyone. I was faithful to my wife, and even allowed the kids to attend church."

Conductor: “Your destiny is not determined by how good or bad you were, or wasn’t. It’s determined by your acceptance of the Jesus into your life.”

Passenger: “Jesus? He was a statue at the church I went to on Christmas and Easter. They spoke of a babe born in a manger, but it never went beyond that."

Conductor: “He was the Son of God, and died for the sins of the whole world. But you rejected Him. Many times He spoke to your heart, or through other people, but all you did was brushed them off, or criticized anyone who tried to share His love with you. All the time, they had the truth you needed."

Conductor: "You trusted in your wealth as the source of your existence. You had no time for the thing that really mattered, and could have given you true fulfillment - a relationship with God.”

Passenger: “What happens from here? Where will I go?”

Conductor: “That’s up to the judge. I’m not permitted to say.”

Passenger: “What will happen to this luggage and box? In this box are all the things I worked for. The suitcases contain all the good I accomplished."

Just then the suitcases and box burst into flames and became nothing but a heap of ashes. The passenger quickly stepped back, horrified.

Conductor: “It’s time to depart. Your judge waits.”

Passenger: (in a terrified tone) “NO! NO! I’m not ready!”

Just then, John sat straight up in his bed, sweating and breathing heavy.

Jane: “Honey, you up? Joe and Janet asked us to go to church with them this morning. I would like to go.”

John: “Yeah that sounds great. I’ll be ready in fifteen minutes.”

Jane: (Surprised) “Really? (pause) I’ll see you in a few.”

John: (to himself) I’ll give this a shot. Lord, if you’re real, on this day, show me what I must do.

Jane: “Honey, I packed your suitcases for your trip next week. You’re leaving Tuesday? The box is all your company reports they asked you to bring. They wouldn’t all fit in your briefcase.”

John looks in the corner of the room where he sees two suitcases and a box.


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This article has been read 252 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Camille (C D) Swanson 02/16/12
Nice job! The ending with the suitcases - was clever. The MC hopefully will amend His ways and accept Jesus Christ - before it is too late. I enjoyed this.
God bless~
Donna Wilcher02/16/12
Scary story...but fun to read. I can see this as a live play, or a radio show.

Very cleaver story

I hope he missed the appointment with the conductor.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 02/16/12
I enjoyed this script. I've read a few entries about having an appointment with death but this was different. Often a dream sequence is viewed as an easy literary tool but I do believe God uses our dreams to give us a message. You did a nice job with this.
Loren T. Lowery02/17/12
I liked the unique way you presented this subject. It is always intriguing when a writer uses the use of : to identify a speaker. I may need to go back and read it again, but the use of the present tense in the last paragraph through me for a moment.