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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Astonishment (02/02/12)

TITLE: Shock
By veronica cressey


This Christmas, our youngest daughter had invited us to spend the day with her, her fiancée and her two sons.
This was ‘way out there’ for my husband and I as we always host Christmas. We have three adult children and they look forward to ‘home cooking’ on this one, special day of the year.
I was beside myself on Christmas Eve and Christmas morning. I am usually prepping food, laying the table, making sure everything is ‘just so”! But I was so restless! Nothing to do, you see?
Having three young grandsons, Christmas, to us, is our excuse to spoil them .
We spent many hours in various toy shops leading up to ‘the BIG’ day, buying all sorts of ‘goodies’, knowing full well they would be overjoyed at our selection.
Finally, around noon, it was time for us to load the car and make the short trip to our daughter’s house.
We arrived and our daughter was in her driveway, waiting to welcome us. She looked beautiful in her new dress. We embrace, enter the house to the excited laughter of our two grandsons. {Our eldest daughter would soon arrive with our youngest grandson.} We greeted her fiancée, his parents and his grandparents. The room looked stunning! I just stood there and I remarked upon the beautiful decorations in her family room. After the children had torn open their gifts and thanked us for their surprises,
I said;” You know, this room is so beautiful, you could actually hold a Wedding here”!
There was a huge silence. I looked at my husband. He returned my glance. The grandsons were unusually quiet. My daughter took me by the hand towards their sliding glass windows. She opened the blinds to show me a red carpet, a gorgeous rose covered archway and she said to me; ‘Mum, we are getting married this afternoon”>
Again, I looked at my husband and he glanced back, totally astonished! Then, my daughter explained to us that the Wedding was a total surprise! Neither her fiancés ’ family knew, nor did we! No wonder everyone was shocked!
The rest of our family arrived and then the Wedding took place right there, in their back garden!
Our grandsons were the ‘ring bearers’. I wept. {As one does, and I thoroughly enjoyed myself.}
This is one Christmas we will never forget!

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This article has been read 357 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Dannie Hawley 02/09/12
Wow, right on target for this week! Nicely done.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 02/09/12
This is a delightful story. You have so many hidden messages in it. I love it when one piece can say several different things to each reader.

I noticed a few glitches with punctuation, sometimes the period or exclamation point was after the end quote. There were also an occasional spacing error. You committed my biggest pet peeve by saying,...dinner for my husband and I (it should be me because you wouldn't say for I). If this had been part of the dialog, I wouldn't have mentioned it because, unfortunately, people make that mistake often.

I do think you did a wonderful job writing on topic in a fresh way. The ending was sweet and the beginning set up potential conflict right away. Nice job.
C D Swanson 02/10/12
I truly enjoyed this story...The story began immediately, and set the tone for the entire entry. Great wind up. Nicely done. God Bless~
Catherine Maher02/11/12
Thank God that you agreed to let her host it for one year otherwise what a mess of things you could have made. You are right, you'll never forget that year. You will be able to tell grandchildren for years to come too.
Well done.