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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Astonishment (02/02/12)
I traveled four hours one day to visit with a friend and her daughter for the week-end. To my utter amazement, my total surprise, my complete astonishment, they were both on their way out the door as I was arriving, one late for work and the other for school. As my friend was saying hi and good-bye almost in the same breath, while running to the car, she had a last second thought, “Oh, by the way, would you mind going to the grocery store for us? The list and coupons are on the kitchen counter? Thank you!”

As I stand there in the doorway with suitcase in one hand, and a feeble wave of good-bye with the other, I’m wondering, with a dumbfounded look on my face, “What just happened?” As she pulls out the driveway, with waving hand sticking out the window, I yell out, without any possibility of being heard, “Sure, no problem”. I put my things down, go to the kitchen and grab the list and coupons and go out the door, “Piece of cake, I can do this”!

Who says God does not have a sense of humor? He had set aside a day of rest as a pattern for us, that we might find release from the pressures and hardships He knew we would encounter in life after the fall of man. What better way to release them then with humor! Even wise Solomon knew there was a time to weep and a time to laugh, and now I was being used to bring cheerfulness into my friend’s lives, at my expense, but yet still I see it as a gift from God.

So here I am at her favorite supermarket, thinking to myself, this won’t take long, there are only a few things on the list. I go inside, grab a cart, and head out to find the first item on the list: Bogo Chicken!! What in the world is that? Well, I know they are health nuts, so maybe it is some special brand name up here in the northern part of the state. For ten minutes I’m up and down all the meat aisles, even the frozen food section, and still no Bogo Chicken! You know men, we don’t like to ask for directions, but with a defeated look on my face, I stopped at the meat counter.

Finally, I’m next in line, and I reach over the counter and showed the young lady my list and ask her if they have any of this type of chicken today. She looked puzzled, and confused, and hesitantly told me, “Um…wait, let me go get the manager”. It seemed like an eternity, but here she came through the double doors, an older lady this time, wiping the blood off her hands onto her dirty looking apron, asking, “Can I help you”? I showed her the list, and with a look of panic in my eyes, I asked her about the Bogo Chicken, and without a moment’s hesitation, she gave me a serious, convincing, stern look and stated with authority, “Honey, that’s those large-breasted chickens, we only sell the small-breasted ones!”

My disappointed look of amazement, of surprise, of total astonishment, must have been too much for her, and she quickly broke into an ear to ear grin, and laughingly said, “Honey, Bogo means buy one get one free! They’re right over there behind you!” As I sheepishly thanked her, and slipped away with my extra free chicken, and bright red embarrassed face, I quickly thought, my friend owes me big time! With haste, I finished the list without making another “scene”, and hurried back home.

Naturally, when my friend and her daughter came home that evening, I had to tell on myself, and they both had an on the floor, belly laugh over my astonishing incident. But I ended up with the last laugh when they looked in the bag and found 10 Renuzit air fresheners. They said that they only wanted two. At the time of purchase, I thought that was a lot for only two cats , but then I showed them the list that said 10 for $10, so that’s how many I got…all 10! But, it was worth it, just to see the look of astonishment on both their faces!!
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This article has been read 581 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Dannie Hawley 
02/09/12
A really fun read. Thanks!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
02/09/12
I enjoyed your story and found myself chuckling a lot. My husband would really relate to the MC because it seems every time he goes to the store he messes it up.

I think it might have been a bit of a stretch for the topic and I was prepared to be open-minded about this. It's just your opening of being surprised, amazed, and astonished at your friends leaving didn't really seem to fit. Maybe irritated if you had plans or disappointed but astonished seemed a stretch.

Having said all of that, I truly did enjoy your story. I found myself wanting to yell at the screen that BOGO means buy one get one! It was a funny story. I do think the judges may take off some points for topic but you had a delightful ending, you thoroughly entertained, it was well-written and flowed nicely.
diana kay
02/10/12
lovely :-)
C D Swanson 
02/10/12
Funny and refreshing read. I enjoyed this so much. Nice job. God Bless~
Donna Wilcher
02/10/12
Unlike the other responder, I didn't know what the heck Bogo Chicken was until the manager in your story explained it..then I said.."Duhhh..I shoulda known that!" It made me Laugh Out Loud. I loved it...very funny.
Karlene Jacobsen
02/14/12
What a fun story. It wouldn't surprise me if my husband translated my shopping lists like that.

A little red ink: Watch for tense shifts.

Again, great story. I enjoyed it thoroughly. God bless.