The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
01/26/12
This was an adorable story, and you were right on topic. Nicely done...Cute ending.
God Bless~
This is a cute story. A child not agreeing with a parent is a perfect fit for the topic.

Double space between paragraphs to give the reader white space. This would be a great middle reader book.Just work on doing more showing than telling. For example this sentence: It was an argument my mother and I had a lot that ninth year of my life.
tells the reader they were arguing but this:
I crinkled my eyes and shook my head until my braids whacked me in my red, hot face.
shows me the girl is arguing. It will build your characters into believable people while giving the reader a mental picture.

The ending is great and left me with a feel good feeling. You have a lot of natural talent. With just a little work at polishing up the show vs tell (which all writers struggle with) you will be writing outstanding stories in no time!
01/27/12
Cute story. I question rules at times too. Loved the question about not knowing saddle shoes. I actually enjoyed wearing mine.

Keep writing.
02/02/12
Congrats on your HR!
God BLess you~