The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/26/12
This was a very well written story...I enjoyed it and loved the ending. This would have been good in last weeks embarrassment category too! Nicely done.
God bless~
This is a great story. It is perfect for a devotion. My biggest suggestion would be don't give away the ending with the title. You did a great job writing on topic and I giggled at the end.
01/27/12
A very relatable story. Find ways to shift your words around to prevent Using the word "I" to start most sentences. There were a few run on sentences.

When driving the car to the car shop, I was hoping to read more descriptive words about the MC's reactions to the car. Wording that expose feelings give character to the story.

You kept my interest. Nice work.
01/28/12
Nice job on a story that definitely fits the topic.

Make sure you start a new paragraph each time dialogue changes (see your last paragraph).

I was wondering if the MC would make a point (as I would have) that the they shouldn't have made a key for a truck that needs a microchip! They should have known. ;) However, I like the ending and the fact that they grinned at the end and formed a positive connection.

Good job!!!
01/30/12
Very nice article. Would be a great read in a men's Christian magazine.
01/31/12
This hit on such a common problem - a situation is ignited when a simple solution settles it. A key! How clever! Good job! God bless!
02/02/12
Congratulations on your ribbon! Nice job
God Bless~