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Topic: Embarrassment (01/12/12)
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TITLE: The First Verse | Previous Challenge Entry
By Jennifer Porter
01/15/12 -
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The morning preparations and sound check went well and the service began. While sitting behind the pulpit I found myself wondering why we had three services when only a handful of people came at eight o’ clock. Carefully yawning to open my throat I noticed the sun filtering through the dusty Arizona windows and a roadrunner skittering past at high speed. Taking a cleansing breath I rose as the pianist began to play the introduction to the song. As was my custom I lifted up a prayer to God and took another long breath while awaiting my cue. Marion lifted her director’s hand and I nodded confidently before realizing my mind had gone completely blank! I couldn’t believe it; I couldn’t remember the words to the song. A crimson flush stained my fair face and as I stared at the people below and it was as if time slowed to a crawl. I sent an S.O.S to God and was relieved when words came out of my mouth at the proper cue. Unfortunately, they were not the words Twila Paris would have recognized, however, I was impressed with myself for not blowing the whole song. The lyrics flowed brilliantly from my mouth and my embarrassment faded. A quick glance at the music director told me she had not even noticed. Soon the verse was over and I was singing the chorus! Whew! The rest of the song went without incident and I left the platform proud of myself that the whole song was not a complete disaster. Pride swelled in my chest as I thought about my vocal training reminding a vocalist or actor not to visually react when they make a mistake. Most people listen with their eyes anyway and no one seemed to notice. I chuckled to myself that the real truth was that no one was actually listening anyway.
The eight o’ clock service came to an end and I began mentally preparing for the next two solos. Eager to get my hands on the sheet music so I would not make the same mistake, I eyed the exits. As I rose a diminutive elderly woman approached me. I didn’t know her face as she introduced herself, but that was not surprising since the only time I got up for the early service was to sing. She reached out and lightly touched my arm her eyes filling with unshed tears; I was used to compliments and smiled when she said the song was beautiful. Laughter nearly bubbled out as I thought, “If you only knew!” As I turned to leave she said, “the first verse, the first verse you sang, it was for me! God meant that first verse just for me!” She’d been suffering through a trial she said and continued, “It wasn’t the whole song, just the first verse. Isn’t that wonderful?” Her words shook me to the core; God had used me to speak to words of comfort to His Child. I hadn’t created lyrics out of thin air, I was simply a vessel used to minister.
In awe of God, a flush of shame flooded my soul, but this time because of my pride. The same pride that bathed my ego in smugness and self-satisfaction; then politely waited for a raving review! God took this opportunity to teach me humility and my true embarrassment was forgetting the opportunity he’d given me. My duty while serving was to worship God and minister to His flock for His glory alone, never mine. It is also a reminder to us all, that if we listen for the Shepherd’s voice, he will engrave His love song directly onto the walls of our heart.
Word Count: 692
Non-fiction
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