The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
01/12/12
Interesting history lesson.
We, the members of FaithWriters, are part of this history you write about.

01/14/12
Your piece showed some very interesting facts about the Bible and its history.

How well was this article crafted? There are improvements needed in style, grammar and focus.



Did it have a clear point or message?
Although the general theme was how dedicated men committed to preserving the Bible, the spotlight was shared by many other themes. Ex. John Wycliffe's struggles with the Pope/Martin Luther's troubles with John Wycliffe

Did it start well? The opening sentences had only a slight connection to the rest of the piece, in my opinion.

Did it have a satisfying conclusion? Yes, the conclusion was a good summary of the primary theme.
01/14/12
I found this 'history lesson' essay fascinating, and I want to thank you for writing it. It overflowed with facts I did not know!

I would advise in future pieces, not to include 'FaithWriters' or for that matter, anything about the 'Challenge' in your entry, since once the winners are published in anthologies, the essays are supposed to be relatable to a greater range of audience.
01/14/12
You piece was very informative.

How well did it start? I had difficulty connecting the opening sentences to the rest of the piece.

How well crafted? Did it flow smoothly? Did it have a clear message?
Watch out for continuity of thought. For ex:

"Through the middle ages the Bible was translated into Latin and very few people knew Latin or could read. The Bible was not available to ordinary men to explore on their own. A man who helped bring the Bible to ordinary people was an English scholar John Wycliffe."

I would rewrite to show that not only are all of the sentences related to each other, but also to the main point of the article.

Watch out for sentence structure and word meaning.

For ex: "At this time people could pay the church money." Did you mean pay money to the church, or is church an adjective that describes money?

Did it come to a satisfying conclusion? Yes, the conclusion fit well with the topic and the title.
01/14/12
Don't ask me how you get the benefit of two reviews. I'm scratching my head.:-) Lol
I enjoyed this history lesson and thought it was quite educational. You definitely nailed the topic.

I have two little comments. First don't make a reference to FW in your submission as the top 10 overall winners will be published in an anthology and those readers may have never heard of FW. Second, go back and count how many times you used the word commitment. It is possible to write on topic without using the topic word. It's a great thing to try to challenge yourself to still write on topic and have readers know what the topic is without overusing the word.

I liked how you ended it and summarized your message. We have a lot to be grateful for and are blessed by those who risked their lives to ensure that we would know the word of God.