The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
01/12/12
I struggled to keep up with the storyline. Characters go flat when writing tries to cover too many angles at once.
01/12/12
I enjoyed the piece, however the last section confused me a little at first. What with Craig jumping from director to actor. I thought I was reading it wrong. Other than that...very good!
I'm confused, what is the commitment?

Watch the dialogue, as there was a spot where I thought Craig was thinking, but he was speaking.

Keep writing!
I love the theater! Like how you wove the theme in and out - on stage and off. Nice job.
01/12/12
Craig’s commitment to Emily, or lack thereof, comes through loud and clear. You gave a clear vision of commitment and the struggle and failures that sometimes comes with keeping commitments, without ever mentioning the word. Good job of “showing”. Difficult to do a complex piece with the word limit. But you did an overall good job.

01/13/12
Your story portrayed the lack of commitment quite well. You did a good job of moving the story along until the end. I had to read the story several times to understand the last part.

A minor point. Reread your piece to eliminate sentences that may have a different meaning than what you intended.

For ex: "He leaped nimbly on stage." As I read the story, I think you meant, "He leaped nimbly on to the stage."

A very creative way to approach the topic.
I liked how you wove the story from the play into real life.

The italics through me off. I wondered if you meant to have so much in italics. Hit the preview button before you hit submit as that will help your proofing a great deal.

Some of your transitions were a little choppy. It can be hard to move between play and life with the word limit. Perhaps restructuring some of your sentences might help the flow.

I liked the subtle different ways you showed commitment. You did a nice job of making this topic be all about the different types of commitment.
01/19/12
I like how you used the words of the play to fit the mood of the scene. Well done! Keep it up!
01/19/12
Congratulations on your first place win! God Bless~
01/19/12
Nicely done and congratulations!
01/19/12
Yahoo! Congratulations Abel on your well deserved win!!