The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
You have been through a lot and covered many topics in your article. Some of the most effective writing I've seen has been on only a few topics to not muddy up the message.

By the way, we all fall short of our expectations - self-inflicted are the worst. It's good to know where to go and start over.
You have been through a lot in life and know who you should lean on. I like that about this submission.

I think you should focus on one topic of commitment. I feel like you let it all out but did not have a concise focus.
Wonderful testimony! Thank you for sharing it with us. I agree that focusing on one aspect would certainly tighten it up a bit. Keep on writing!
There are so many good points in your piece. I love the phrase "grabbed onto commitment." Sometimes you really must grab it and hold it tight, lest you lose it.
:-) You stayed on topic and left the reader with a true sense of your commitment to your faith.
Yes, there are a series of subtopics that confused your message,somewhat. You could have focused on your commitment as mother and how you fulfilled that role, or your commitment to your 30 yr. employment and what challenges you faced to keep that commitment. The many ups and downs you faced with your husband is another sub-topic that could have been the main focus.

Review your piece for run-on and incomplete sentences; especially in the second paragraph.

Despite some lack of focus, you managed to tie it all together in a strong and forceful summary. By the way, it's not necessary to write: "In summary." One possible way to lead into your summary could be this: Through all of my life's experiences, I've learned that Jesus....

Overall, an encouraging testimony and mini-devotional.
I think you did a splendid job of making your story about the topic.

Some of your sentences were a tad long and could be overwhelming for some readers. Especially with the word limit, you may want to consider shorter sentences and paragraphs.

I really liked how you shared a personal story and told what you believe in. This helps draw the reader in and makes you relatable to many people.
Congratulations for ranking 6th in level one!