The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
12/29/11
Always proofread as much as possible to keep from having punctuation and spelling errors.
It is on topic. When you work with young characters, make sure they speak and respond as one would expect that aged person to do. I suggest next time, name your characters and write about them on a piece of paper and then incoroprate them into your piece and they'll come alive more.
12/29/11
This was a complex story, it had a lot going on. I followed it and found myself really enjoying it. Good job and definitely on topic.
God Bless~
12/30/11
Oh, I like this. Very creative!

There was at least one minor typos ("either" instead of "neither") but it didn't detract from the entry as a whole.

Loved the part about trying to walk on water!
This is a sweet story. I liked the approach you took. You really didn't need the first paragraph The story told your message. It's a great message too with nice bits of humor sprinkled in.