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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Hacker or Virus (computer) (12/15/11)

TITLE: Sickbusters
By Ken Ebright
12/21/11


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Colleen uploaded her video and picked a piece of music, then her computer froze, so she called Sickbusters.

"Hello, this is Sickbusters. My name is Steve. How can I help you?"

"My name is Colleen Carlson, I have a service contract."

"What seems to be the problem today?"

She started to cry. "I need your he...lp. I was making a card on Vidcards. I uploaded a video of me on Lake Harriet wishing people a Merry Christmas. I added music and graphics that were spectacular. Then my computer froze. I don’t know what to do. I put so much work into this. I had my heart set on sending this e-card to all my friends and relatives. Now it’s gone. You got to help me." Colleen blew her nose and wiped her eyes with a Kleenex.

"Colleen, it sounds like your computer may have been affected by a virus. Do you have an account with us?”

"Yes."

"Is your address 4701 First Avenue?" She heard his keyboard clicking.

"That’s right."

"I confirmed your account. You need to re-boot your computer and go to our Sickbusters website. Let me know when you‘ve done that."

Colleen clicked away at her computer. "Steve, Sickbusters just loaded up."
"To fix your problem. I need to get into you computer. I need you to click on the help tab."

"Done."

Steve cleared his throat. "Type in J-a-s-o-n-g-g-e-e-k, into the user name slot, no spaces.”

Colleen typed in the code. "Okay"

There were a lot of people talking on the other line as Steve spoke. "Now in the password slot type, Steve6801, and hit return."

"Done." Colleen started to tap her fingers on her desk. "Aaaah! What’s going on! My computer just went crazy, who is clicking on my control panel?"

"Don't worry, Colleen, that's me. I'm working on the solution."
After 10 minutes of seeing computer code on my screen and hearing clicking in the background, the screen looked normal again.

"Colleen, I have good news and bad news."

"Okay."

"I can fix your computer, but the only way I can do that is to re-install Windows. Also I am going to need your credit card number."

Colleen let out a deep breath "First, what do you mean by re-installing Windows? Second, why do you need my credit card number?”

"Basically you‘ll be starting over again. Unfortunately you’ll lose everything on your hard drive. Second, how else are you going to pay for it?"

Colleen threw a pencil at the wall "What! You can't do that. There are things on my hard drive that I can't do without. I also pay for a service contract. You shouldn’t need my credit card."

"Colleen, there is nothing else I can do, I’m sorry It can't be prevented."

"Isn’t this Sickbusters?"

"Yes it is."

"I send a monthly check to your company for my service contract. I think you’re trying to steal my identity. You don’t need my credit card. Can I speak to you manager?"

"No."

"What do you mean by no?"

"I'm not going to let you talk to a manager."

"That proves my point you’re trying to steal my identity. I‘m going to call the Better Business Bureau."

Colleen slammed the phone down and started to cry. "Why is he trying to steal from me?"

She pick up the phone again and called the Better Business Bureau. She had a sense of peace in her heart because she knew the Lord was providing for her needs.


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This article has been read 227 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Mona Purvis12/29/11
On topic and good use of conflict. In one paragraph you went from 3rd person to 1st. Would benefit from better punctuation (using commas). The last sentence is too unconnected to work well. You do tell an interesting story and that is always welcomed.
CD Swanson 12/29/11
This moved well and I liked the storyline. I enjoyed it, and as always - peace reigns in our hearts when we give it to the Lord. Nice job. I look forward to seeing future entries of yours. God Bless~
Allison Egley 12/30/11
This is a good reminder to always be alert when we are dealing with things online.

The ending didn't seem to connect with the rest of the story and seemed rushed. Remember, just because this is a Christian site, doesn't mean every single story has to mention God. Sometimes trying to add God into it just doesn't work very well, and that's okay too. :)

Nice job with this story!

Jennifer Suchey12/30/11
This fits the topic nicely. I did notice several small errors in punctuation.

The following sentence should be two sentences with a period instead of a comma: "My computer just went crazy, who is clicking on my control panel?"

I also agree the ending felt disconnected and rushed.

I like that you showed Colleen's emotion with things like "Colleen let out a deep breath" and "threw a pencil at the wall" and "slammed the phone down".

Overall, this is a nice story. Good job.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 12/31/11
You did a nice job on this difficult topic :)