The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
12/29/11
Excellent! Just excellent! Very well done indeed. You should rate high marks with this one and I expect you will.
I have to ask, camellias or chameleons?
You won't be in beginners long with this well-done style.

Mona
12/29/11
Fantastic job - beautifully written and a wonderful message. Nicely done.
God Bless~
12/29/11
Cute,fast moving. I don't see it having anything to do with computers, but, I like it.
12/30/11
Oh wow. I love how you were realy able to paint the mood with this.

Did you mean chameleons instead of camellias? If not, I would have chosen a more common flower (I had to look it up) to connect with readers. :)

Excellent job with this.
Wow this is really good. I really enjoyed your out of the box thinking on this one.
This is really good! I love the metaphors; they are rich and deep, perfect for speaking to the heart.
A couple comments: first, note that this is a bit off topic, because you are supposed to write about a computer virus rather than "real" viruses. Hopefully the judges will let that slide a little, though.
Second, you don't need to state "I am a virus" - you made it evident through the poem. I would encourage you to have enough faith in yourself to let the reader interpret what you wrote. You are a great poet and don't need to explain yourself. Show, and don't tell!
I would be very surprised if you don't win a prize with this one. Great job!
01/05/12
Congratulations - God Bless~
01/05/12
Thank you for your lovely comments...

The Rider was a simile of two comparable viruses.

Blessings to you all

Bonnie
01/06/12
Congratulations and good job!
Hello Bonnie,
I am late getting around to this I know but after I read it I wanted to comment. This is very good. I love the free verse style and your simile and metahpore. The Rider is one of your best after your story. :) (My personal favorite of yours.)
Blessings,
Maria Crenshaw