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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Social Media (12/01/11)

TITLE: The Evidence
By bo Jennings
12/12/11


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(people gossiping)
"Trust me,
he had all the excuses to be what he became.
What a shame.
A pity someone as sweet and kind and so much potential was lured away.
All his charm.
I can't believe it."

"It can't happen."

"He confessed Jesus as his savior."

"Yes, he gave his time to the Food Bank, he visited the sick."

"He had no money of his own."

"I just don't understand how he lived this kind of life.
Hidden from all who thought we knew him."

"We didn't know him at all."

(Narrator)
"It was true.
He did wonderful things for people and his greatest attribute?
To love others unconditionally.
He made every smile or laugh and the room lit up when he entered.
The life of the party, always, said of him."

"Everyone loved him."

"For now I shall refer to him as, him."

(The Coutroom. First witness)
"Well, Your Honor,
it all began in childhood,
so he said, a victim.
It ended with the computer.
The computer wasn't his,
but,
since it was available,
by night and no one was there to mind,
he used it. ...
And, then his troubles escalated.
Yes, he had all the victim excuses in the world.
Childhood traumas.
You can name any childhood trauma,
and all of them happened to him.
I know,
because I grew up with him."

"Sadly, the devil told him, 'no one will know'.
Here it is. Use it.
So, that's what he did."

(Go on)
"He used a computer site, a place for certain people.
He found them. One by one. He went to meet them.
Sometimes it would be three or four in the morning when he left
and he would come home two or three days later."

(Second friend)
"You knew all along!" She SCREAMED out.

(The Judge)
"No more outburst or you will be found in contempt of court!"

(The Judge)
"Did you know? "

(First witness and friend )
"Yes, I tried to warn him.
I tried telling him of God's love.
Then, after that wasn't working,
I became disgusted.
He didn't stop...
I told him I will answer for his despicable behaviors.
God will hold me accountable for not telling him the truth.
I told him in love...
But, he never heard.
He didn't want to hear.
So, I said, We'll pray together.
We'll ask for God's help.

He said, "Ok,"
but he continued.
I tried, I promise, I tried."

(Prosecutor)
"So, you knew?
And you tried, so hard?"
He laughed and spoke sarcastically
"He tried!
Ha Ha Ha!"

"You realize his fate, do you not?"

"Your Honor.
I move to declare the accused be charged and sentenced at this time!"

He looks at the accused,
"Your OURS!"
HA HA HA...!

Then, his horns extended;
he continued laughing.

(Judge)
"Not yet!
There is another witness..."

"Bailiff, call the next witness."
The bailiff escorts the next witness.
He swears in,
and then,
takes the wooden seat.

(Attorney for the Defendant)
"Please give the jurors your expert testimony.
Why should he, pointing to the defendant, be set free?"

(Witness 2)
The eyes of love radiated as he looked at every juror.
Then, He said,
"Because I died for him."

(Narrator)
"In the court room no one uttered a single word."

(Prosecutor)
"Your Honor,
may I submit the Evidence?"

(The Judge)
"Yes, show us the evidence."

(Prosecutor)
"Bring it in."

(Narrator)
"The bailiffs roll into the room for all to see,
the evidence.
The prosecutor turns on the projector.
The large screen lowers from the ceiling.
His movie of his life played for all.
The evenings spent on the computer and all his words written in black and white.
Everything there.
The hours visiting "those kind of places,"
and doing 'those kind" of things.'"

"The Defendant made no eye contact..."

"Not even his mother could persuade the evidence."

After hearing the testimonies and seeing all the evidence

(The Judge)
"Son, sins die hard.
What do you have to sayf?"

(Him)
"I know YOU died for me.
PLEASE, save me.
I've quoted scriptures in your name.
I promise...
I will change!

(The Judge)
"Jury, what is your decision?
Guilty or not?"

(Narrator)
"The Tabloids read:
The Verdict Hung!
One praying grand-mother
challenged The Devil today."

"Take this dear child?
NOT!
A sinner yes...
But,HIS BLOOD,
washes ALL sins away!"


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This article has been read 235 times
Member Comments
Member Date
CD (Camille) Swanson 12/15/11
This was some story! I got chills towards the end with the "witness" saying "I died for him." Good job - I really liked it. It held my attention thru out.
God bless~
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 12/15/11
I really liked where you were going with this. I think it is quite a nice take on the topic. It was a tad hard to follow though. I think if you had formatted it more like a screen play with the characters and setting more defined or of you had told it more like a story it would have been clearer. It felt like you were somewhere between the two. The ending was great and you have a very powerful message. You gave me chills at times. Nicely done.
Helen Curtis12/22/11
I, too, loved where you were going with this one! With a bit of restructuring it this would be an amazing piece of writing - not that is isn't already! The concept is fantastic. It might be a little weak on the topic, too; I didn't really see much reference to social media as such. You have a very creative mind and a wonderful insight into the spiritual side of humanity! Well done!