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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: rain (10/17/05)

TITLE: In The Garden
By Alicia Grant
10/21/05


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Like a dry branch on oak tree,
Thirsty for Your Word
The substance of our existence
I've lost the nutrients of the Holy Spirit
The daily chores, and wordly cares
Have choked on my branch
Little by little, spending less time with You
Scriptures, hymns have become a memory,
A lingering nostalgy sets in.....
Memories of your Fatherly voice, with Your tender touch to erase the suffering
Fight!Fight!cries out the branch,
Remaining vessels dig deep into the trunk before it's too late
Searching for THE ELEMENT
The branch gives all that it has,
To stay alive, not wanting to lose its character
Breakthrough!Breakthrough! is on its way
Charging across the sky, the rain approaches
It seeps into the roots to reach the branches
The Source has returned, with a renewal
Bursting forth life, a new beginning!
Rebirth is at hand
Its powerful force leaves us amazed
Worthy is its power, worthy is its grace


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Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 10/25/05
You've done such a lovely job with the metaphor of the branch, that I wonder if this poem would work better without you spelling out the comparison to yourself. Let your readers figure out the application to life, and edit out the lines about chores, hymns, etc. The picture of the thirsty tree is beautifully written.
dub W10/30/05
You have a talent with figurative language, work on stucture, perhaps making this into a sonnet (14 lines, ten syllables per line plus rhyme scheme)